Often, the most successful people--in business, athletics, entertainment, or any field--are those who have focused all of their attention on achieving a specific goal. Those who spread their energy in many directions may not be as successful. In your opinion, how much of success is the result of remaining focused? Explain your position with reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading
Some people consider that individuals must make their all efforts in achieving a success such as in business, athletics, entertainment. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this idea. Firstly, it has a serious influence on the result. Another is that there are some better ways to get a success in long-term.
The first reason is that working long hours has a severe impact on the result of work such as not meeting the deadline of their task. When people spend much time on doing a task without the break, they have to face with mental and physical disorders. As a result, they could be extremely stressful and need to be rested much more time. To illustrate that one of my colleagues is a point case. He had focused his all attention on the new project during constant three weeks, but not taking care of his health, so he was in the hospital to recover, and this left the plan unable to be implemented as our estimation.
Secondly, to gain a success in a life, especially with long-term targets, people should take advantage of proper approaches instead of devoting their all attention in a short time. Firstly, people could separate a huge goal into minor tasks that it is much easier to complete, which also helps them have a suitable action plan, and avoid the heavy workloads that demand us more energy and attention. In addition, people should have a short break when they have to expose to computers during constant time. For instance, people should walk around or talk to others to feel at ease instead.
In conclusion, I believe that it is not really crucial to put all resources in getting a success.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, really, second, secondly, so, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1341.0 1977.66487455 68% => OK
No of words: 285.0 407.700716846 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70526315789 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55487271244 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.6 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 410.4 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3390292946 48.9658058833 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.7857142857 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3571428571 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.85714285714 5.45110844103 181% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192232023936 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.057928666367 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0603826653236 0.0737576698707 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110839937802 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0374458558423 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.2 Out of 6.0
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.