In 1992, many farmers in Jalikistan began using a hormone designed to produce larger cows that would produce more milk. Since then, childhood obesity in Jalikistan has grown by 200 percent. The amount of milk and dairy consumed by children in this area ha

Essay topics:

In 1992, many farmers in Jalikistan began using a hormone designed to produce larger cows that would produce more milk. Since then, childhood obesity in Jalikistan has grown by 200 percent. The amount of milk and dairy consumed by children in this area has not increased or decreased. Children in the same area who are lactose intolerant, and who drink almond milk or soy milk, have not had the same increase in childhood obesity. The only clear explanation is that the introduction of the hormone is responsible for the increase in childhood obesity in that area.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more viable alternatives to the proposed explanation. Justify, with support, why the alternatives could rival the proposed explanation and explain how those explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

Childhood obesity is on rise in society today, but weather it is because of a change of hormones in cows is debatable. In the argument that a new hormone is the reason for the 200 percent rise in childhood obesity could be a contributing factor, but does not have to be the only. The author concludes that the new hormone introduced in Jalikistan to the cows is the only cause in new found childhood obesity. The author bases this on the childhood 200 percent increase in obesity during the same time the new hormone was injected into the cows. Due to unsupported evidence, the argument is not conclusive.

A viable alternative to the explanation is if the cows were doing anything at all different from what they normally do. The author failed to consider if there was something else mixed into the cow’s daily activities that had changed. Additional evidence about the cow’s activities is needed. If the cows are used to grazing all day or having any activity this could create a large gap in the reasoning. If now since the hormones were introduced they are not be able to graze or move about freely this could offer conflicting support and be the reason obesity is increasing.

While their amount of milk and dairy products consumption has not changed, it is implied that the children's daily activities have not changed during this time either. The author failed to consider if before the hormones were given to the cows that is was summertime in Jalikstan and children were playing outside, getting regular physical exercise. Additional specifics about the children's level of activity before and after the hormones were given is needed. If winter approached as the milk changed, children could have stayed inside more during this time. This could rival the argument that the hormones are the cause of the size change.

Without alternative explanations, and answers to these question the author’s argument is not persuasive. Other factors could be the reason as to why the obesity in children rose 200 percent during the change in milk.

Votes
Average: 3.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 469, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...e hormones were introduced they are not be able to graze or move about freely this...
^^
Line 5, column 249, Rule ID: VBZ_VBD[1]
Message: Did you mean 'it'?
Suggestion: it
...he hormones were given to the cows that is was summertime in Jalikstan and childre...
^^
Line 5, column 252, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...hormones were given to the cows that is was summertime in Jalikstan and children we...
^^^
Line 5, column 256, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
...ones were given to the cows that is was summertime in Jalikstan and children were playing ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, while, as to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1724.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 347.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96829971182 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64660968973 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.461095100865 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 555.3 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.9593691685 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 101.411764706 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4117647059 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.47058823529 5.70786347227 26% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228268753736 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0760742840322 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0493517834997 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138342424572 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0393092208343 0.0628817314937 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.