While it is reasonable that the owner of Movies Galore would like to reverse the decline of the video rental chain's profits, the resulting recommendation to implement similar changes from one store to all their other nine stores are based on tenuous arguments and unstated assumptions. The owner would need to answer some questions regarding the stated arguments in order for an informed decision to be made.
One of the suggested initiative to reduce operating expenses is to close earlier at 6pm rather than 9pm. It could be a reasonable solution if perhaps Downtown Marston is a working district and everyone leaves the area after working hours at around 6pm. Howeveer, applying the same treatment to a store that is located in the busy part of town where people hang out after working hours might be an ill-fated move. Customers will not be able to rent movies if they close early, costing them on potential revenue and hence profit.
Also, the owner suggests that all their stores elimiatee movies released more than five years ago. However, to study the effectiveness of such a suggestion, the owner would need to answer the question as to what is the demography of the people in downtown Marston. Downtown Marston could be comprised mainly of younger Generation Y people who are into the latest movies so it would make sense for the store there to not keep stock of older movies. However, it would be unwise for Movies Galore to do the same for their store in other region that consists mainly of the older generations. For example, if people in that region have a penchant of watching older movies in the 50s, we can clearly see that a move such as this would execerbate their decline in profits owing to the lack of customers.
The owner also states that raising the rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits owing to their reputation for special bargains. The owner should perhaps back his or her claim with solid empirical evidences that customers are not at all receptive to a price increase. If the rental price of Movie Galore is much lower than what the market rate it, perhaps increasing rental price will not hurt their reputation at all.
The owner claims that as a result of the success of the store in downtown Marston from a few initiatives taken to reduce operating expenses, the company should implement the same solution for all of their other stores. There is an unstated assumption that the effectiveness of the solution for one store can be extrapolated and replicated with the other nine stores. However, it is unclear how this suggestion might have the predicted result as implied. The owner would need to show that each of their stores will respond similarly to the changes if they were introduced, by factoring in variables such as store location and customer demographics. Else, the owner implying that the solution will work for all their stores is clearly is a stretch.
In conclusion, the onus is on the owner of Movie Galore to back his or her recommendations with solid evidences supporting the arguments. Otherwise, it is unclear how the recommendation would have the intended result of reducing operating expenses and hence buck the trend of their declining profits.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to a store that is located in the busy part of town where people hang out after...
^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... owner would need to answer the question as to what is the demography of the peop...
^^
Line 5, column 293, Rule ID: COMPRISED_CHIEFLY_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'composed mainly of' or 'comprised mainly' or 'consisted mainly of'?
Suggestion: composed mainly of; comprised mainly; consisted mainly of
...town Marston. Downtown Marston could be comprised mainly of younger Generation Y people who are int...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'regarding', 'similarly', 'so', 'while', 'as to', 'for example', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'as a result']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.240204429302 0.25644967241 94% => OK
Verbs: 0.15332197615 0.15541462614 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0817717206133 0.0836205057962 98% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0425894378194 0.0520304965353 82% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0425894378194 0.0272364105082 156% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.137989778535 0.125424944231 110% => OK
Participles: 0.045996592845 0.0416121511921 111% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.60416449697 2.79052419416 93% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0374787052811 0.026700313972 140% => OK
Particles: 0.00170357751278 0.001811407834 94% => OK
Determiners: 0.120954003407 0.113004496875 107% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0340715502555 0.0255425247493 133% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0119250425894 0.0127820249294 93% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3228.0 2731.13054187 118% => OK
No of words: 550.0 446.07635468 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.86909090909 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84273464058 4.57801047555 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.330909090909 0.378187486979 87% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.243636363636 0.287650121315 85% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.176363636364 0.208842608468 84% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.109090909091 0.135150697306 81% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60416449697 2.79052419416 93% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 207.018472906 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44 0.469332199767 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 51.5876282872 52.1807786196 99% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 26.1904761905 23.2022227129 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6544747616 57.7814097925 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.714285714 141.986410481 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1904761905 23.2022227129 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.619047619048 0.724660767414 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.58251231527 84% => OK
Readability: 50.5541125541 51.9672348444 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.77857142857 1.8405768891 97% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271472078322 0.441005458295 62% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.140112127583 0.135418324435 103% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0853621402107 0.0829849096947 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.623366835992 0.58762219726 106% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.131597450486 0.147661913831 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123388479954 0.193483328276 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613123779991 0.0970749176394 63% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.389777997527 0.42659136922 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0685358256124 0.0774707102158 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190095494704 0.312017818177 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0434034376015 0.0698173142475 62% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.33743842365 144% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.