The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. If we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program, we can predict that our profits will increase, too."
The marketing director of Classical Shakespeare Theatre is asserting that they should start a ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ program which would eventually attract more audience and increase profits.He bases his claim on the fact that two years ago a similar company named Avon Repertory Company started similar kind of programs and their profits increased by 10 percent.The author’s argument seems convincing at first, but on close scrutiny, it is seen that the argument provides scant evidence that can prove the validity of the recommendation made.
Firstly,the author states that there was a 20 percent decline in the size of average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions.This claim seem to be spurious as a 20 percent decline over 10 years is not a significant amount as the author does not state the exact number of people which declined , this point might prove nothing as the population increased over the period of 10 years and hence would not account to a significant amount eventually.
Secondly,the fact that there is a decrease in population of audience attending the shows in spite of increased advertising implies one of the two things .First , due to the increasing trends of modernization people are not fond of Shakespearian plays now as they were before.Second, the means of advertising are improper and hence did not create the perceived impact.Also it is quite likely that the timing’s of the show might not be feasible to all audience. If the shows run between the general office timings during a weekday then their would surely be a significant drop in the number of audience.Hence the marketing director must consider all factors like the show timing’s and increasing the frequency of shows to help improve his business.
Last but not the least, the major assumption of starting a new program lies on the basis of the nearby Avon Repertory Company as they started a similar kind of program which helped improve profits.The author hastily correlates both the companies and assumes that their company would also profit from the same.As the program started by Avon was two years ago, the director should consider the changing economic and socio-political conditions before starting the program . As in the current scenario it is quite possible that the program would not succeed as before.Also the nature of plays in the ‘Free Plays in Park ‘ program is not clearly stated as the other company only features Shakespearian plays which would not have the same effect as that of Avon Repertory Company.Hence the assumption of the author about the new program yielding profits is specious at best.
In sum, the author's argument is filled with flaws and incomplete and incogent reasons.
To make his argument more persuasive the author should have provided us with evidence stating the similarities in both companies programs.The marketing directing should have considered all the facts and means to augment profits before hastily assuming that the new ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ program.Had the author kept the above suggestions and points in mind, his argument would have been bolstered much better with valid facts, evidences or statistics. The argument would also be more convincing and well-reasoned.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 534 350
No. of Characters: 2664 1500
No. of Different Words: 235 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.807 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 53.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 29.777 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.703 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 195, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...ract more audience and increase profits.He bases his claim on the fact that two ye...
^^
Line 2, column 367, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...d their profits increased by 10 percent.The author’s argument seems convincing at f...
^^^
Line 2, column 423, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...ument seems convincing at first, but on close scrutiny, it is seen that the argument provides ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e validity of the recommendation made. Firstly,the author states that there was...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...f the recommendation made. Firstly,the author states that there was a 20 perce...
^^^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...assical Shakespeare Theatre productions.This claim seem to be spurious as a 20 perce...
^^^^
Line 5, column 307, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he exact number of people which declined , this point might prove nothing as the p...
^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...gnificant amount eventually. Secondly,the fact that there is a decrease in popula...
^^^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...dvertising implies one of the two things .First , due to the increasing trends of ...
^^
Line 7, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: First
...ertising implies one of the two things .First , due to the increasing trends of moder...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 160, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ing implies one of the two things .First , due to the increasing trends of moderni...
^^
Line 7, column 276, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Second
...espearian plays now as they were before.Second, the means of advertising are improper ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 368, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...nce did not create the perceived impact.Also it is quite likely that the timing’s of...
^^^^
Line 7, column 368, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...nce did not create the perceived impact.Also it is quite likely that the timing’s of...
^^^^
Line 7, column 461, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... might not be feasible to all audience. If the shows run between the general offic...
^^
Line 7, column 602, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...nificant drop in the number of audience.Hence the marketing director must consider al...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 602, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...nificant drop in the number of audience.Hence the marketing director must consider al...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...of program which helped improve profits.The author hastily correlates both the comp...
^^^
Line 10, column 310, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...company would also profit from the same.As the program started by Avon was two yea...
^^
Line 10, column 469, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...l conditions before starting the program . As in the current scenario it is quite ...
^^
Line 10, column 565, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...the program would not succeed as before.Also the nature of plays in the ‘Free Plays ...
^^^^
Line 10, column 565, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...the program would not succeed as before.Also the nature of plays in the ‘Free Plays ...
^^^^
Line 10, column 775, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...ffect as that of Avon Repertory Company.Hence the assumption of the author about the ...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 775, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ffect as that of Avon Repertory Company.Hence the assumption of the author about the ...
^^^^^
Line 12, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...its is specious at best. In sum, the authors argument is filled with flaws and incom...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 139, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...similarities in both companies programs.The marketing directing should have conside...
^^^
Line 13, column 300, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Had
...e new ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ program.Had the author kept the above suggestions a...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, then, well, kind of, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2747.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27255278311 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93034024897 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46641074856 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 829.8 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 57.0 22.8473053892 249% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 166.636738054 57.8364921388 288% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 305.222222222 119.503703932 255% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 57.8888888889 23.324526521 248% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 10.2222222222 5.70786347227 179% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 27.0 5.25449101796 514% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153592326131 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0636319104957 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0927293539017 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0901001679737 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103510171689 0.0628817314937 165% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 32.3 14.3799401198 225% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 13.62 48.3550499002 28% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 25.5 12.197005988 209% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.17 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.92 8.32208582834 119% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 27.5 12.3882235529 222% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 24.8 11.1389221557 223% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.