The owner of the Movies Galore argues that this chain movie-rental stores should take some similar actions of the store located at downtown Marston. Firstly, they closed the store at 6:00 PM instead of 9:00 PM which many other stores did. Moreover, they reduced the stock of the films in the way of dispose the movies released over five years. While there are more evidence needed to prove this feasibility to other chain stores in that the statement is problematic, there are some loopholes in it, we need to evalutate them carefully.
To begin with, the possiblity of keep the good reputation of the chain store is in question. On one hand, the author wants to convince us that the moive-rental stores were popular with their low rental price, thus it would not be feasible to raise the price. While there is no further evidence to show us the price is certain to be maitained at this level. Moreover, the author may neglect other features of the stores which were welcomed by comsumers. Maybe the main reason of the stores for their popularity was the comprehensive stock of movies which, on the other hand, could be the reason for the fame of the stores.
Thus, secondly, the author contends that reducing movie stock could be a useful solution to stop the decline of the company, while in this point , the author assumes that the consumers are all in favor of new movies instead of the old ones. While this view of points should be supported by more evidence in that whether the consumers sharing the same taste of movie is still uncertain. Thus this solution is not convincing.
What's more, changing the operating time of the chain store, according to the author, as another solution of stop the recent decline in the profits is not unasssailable in that the assumption of the author that all of the stores may benefit from this shift of operating time is not compelling. As there are no more further evidence to prove the similarities of all the other stores.
Finally, as the atuhor concerns that there was a decline in profits of the chain stores, we have no more information of this lost in profits. Firstly ,we are not aware of the severeness of this decline, thus the assumption of the author that the new stategey would brought more benefit is not convincing. Secondly, we are not aware of the detail of the decline , thus we could not figure out where went wrong of this chain stores, so the assumption cited by the author could not be supported well by the evidence metioned in the statement.
In conclusion, I totally comprehend the owner of the chain stores, while the assumption of the author is in question. As there are no compelling evidence to support the statement, the author should take more wide survey both of the stores and the rental-movie markets.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 489 350
No. of Characters: 2237 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.702 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.575 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.422 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.696 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 260, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...uld not be feasible to raise the price. While there is no further evidence to show us...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...line of the company, while in this point , the author assumes that the consumers a...
^^
Line 5, column 387, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...same taste of movie is still uncertain. Thus this solution is not convincing. Wha...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...hus this solution is not convincing. Whats more, changing the operating time of th...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 211, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... that the assumption of the author that all of the stores may benefit from this shift of o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 294, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ft of operating time is not compelling. As there are no more further evidence to p...
^^
Line 9, column 150, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rmation of this lost in profits. Firstly ,we are not aware of the severeness of th...
^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'bring'
Suggestion: bring
... the author that the new stategey would brought more benefit is not convincing. Secondl...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 315, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ore benefit is not convincing. Secondly, we are not aware of the detail of the de...
^^
Line 9, column 362, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e not aware of the detail of the decline , thus we could not figure out where went...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, thus, well, while, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2304.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 487.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73100616016 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50561407273 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.418891170431 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 724.5 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.8042588536 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.263157895 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6315789474 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.31578947368 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230235950429 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0776777609849 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0609290671589 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132125601365 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329957116893 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.