The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 PM rather than 9:00 PM and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores”.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In a memorandum from the owner of "Movies Galore" which is a chain of video rental stores, it is suggested that to offset the recent decrease in their profits, it is a must for them to reduce the operational expenditures of the stores. In support of the conclusion, some information are provided of one of the video stores. The argument is rife with questions that needs to answered to make it a convincing argument.
First of all, How is one store's closing time should be standard? One of the stores of Movies Galore, started to close at 6P.M instead of 9P.M. It is assumed that this change should be made to other stores too. Maybe, this is paricular store is not effected by this decision because of the demographic that rents the video from that particular store do not come after 6PM frequently. But, the customer of the other rental stores may not have the same routine. Perhaps, most of them come to the store after 6P.M. Without a proper study or data behind this statement, the evaluation can not be made. Only with a statistical data, the statement can be fully measured. If these are true, then the argument is significantly weakened.
Additionally, Why should the old movies be eradicated in all the stores? One of the stores eradicated the movies from five years ago. Maybe most of the customer span of that store are teenegers and young people. They do not watch the older movies than the newer ones. This may be true for that one particular store, but it is horribly wrong to extrapolate that one set of data for all the other stores. Maybe, there is a strong prediliction toward the older movies of a certain Movie Galor's customers. Then this elimination of the older movie may lead to a worse declination of profits. This again needs data and empirical evidences. Without evidences, this argument does not hold any water.
Thirdly, Why the quality of the movies and the instransigent notion toward the prices of the movies not addressed? The owner is rigid about their prices that the lower prices is the only thing that set them apart from the other rental stores. This may be true that cheap prices is the benchmark or trademark of Movies Galore. But, the other aspect should be considered, perhaps other rental stores have increased the prices significantly whereas they are still operating with their medival prices. This may be one of the reason that they are not meeting their profit goals. Another reason can be the video quality of the movies, other stores maybe providing a better quality for the same movie. These need to be assesed before jumping the gun of considering the reduction of operational expenses.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is flawed with unwarrented assumptions. There are several questions need to be answered in order to make the argument a cogent one.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2273 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.639 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.485 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.697 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.393 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.283 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 34, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In a memorandum from the owner of 'Movies Galore' which is a cha...
^^
Line 2, column 126, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: M
...f Movies Galore, started to close at 6P.M instead of 9P.M. It is assumed that thi...
^
Line 2, column 142, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: M
... started to close at 6P.M instead of 9P.M. It is assumed that this change should ...
^
Line 2, column 510, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: M
...most of them come to the store after 6P.M. Without a proper study or data behind ...
^
Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eradicated in all the stores? One of the stores eradicated the movies from five y...
^^
Line 4, column 720, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the same movie. These need to be assesed before jumping the gun of considering th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, so, still, then, third, thirdly, whereas, apart from, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2344.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 489.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79345603272 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60948548196 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445807770961 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 747.0 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.5561448604 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.7142857143 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4642857143 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.64285714286 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248137168259 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0680360665667 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0639784404456 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141266057315 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069850939137 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.