the following memorandum is from the media director of the althlectic deparment at burtsdale University:
"We have seceded to recommend that the school no longer offer free student access to University athletic events, regardless for level, sport, or gender of the participants. Out policy in the past has been to sell tickets only to events with significant popularity, such as men's Division 1 football and basketball games, and other nationally televised events. Although other sports do not typicall sell out, or generate the same level of interest outside the student body, we feel it is unfair to Divison 2 sports and the women's teams to not charge admission to their events as well. Charging admission to all events is the only way to treat all athletic teams equitably"
Write a response in which you describe what specific examples or evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and how those examples would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memorandum from the Media Director of the Athletic Department, it states that the school will no longer offer free student access to University athletic events that they previously did. It is concluded that it is only fair to charge for all athletic events and not just men’s Division 1 football and basketball. The conclusion is based on how the Athlethic Department assumes other athlets in Division 2 sports and the women feel about students getting free admission to their games. However, the argument is not logically persuasive. More information is needed to evaluate the memorandum.
The Media Director assumes that all players feel that students gaining free admission to some, and not all, sporting events is unfair. Do the players care? Does free admission allow for more students to be able to attend these games? The outlook from the players actually in these games is needed. This could weaken the argument if the students want their fellow peers to be able to attend their games for free. Given we do not have the answers to these questions, more information is needed.
The Director fails to consider that since there is already a decreased level of interest in women’s and Division 2 sporting events, if this new rule will create less of a crowd for these events. One question that is important to address is if anyone attend these games if admission is not free. Evidence for if a massive drop in attendance will follow is needed. Specific numbers are needed on how many people that attend these games are not a part of the student body and pay for a ticket, verses how many receive free admission.
Without additional evidence the Media Directors argument is weakened greatly. Without answers and examples to the specific questions provided the Media Director at Burtsdale University should not continue with this memorandum.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The conclusion is based on how the Athlethic Department assumes other athlets in Division 2 sports and the women feel about students getting free admission to their games.
Error: athlets Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1514 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.884 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.476 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.02 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.319 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'attends'.
Suggestion: attends
...at is important to address is if anyone attend these games if admission is not free. E...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, however, if, look, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1559.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 310.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02903225806 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19604776685 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5840622538 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493548387097 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 483.3 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.0675632411 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.7058823529 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2352941176 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.82352941176 5.70786347227 32% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315068804205 0.218282227539 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0891188320822 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.08659597337 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185379761903 0.128457276422 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671162247173 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.