The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books."We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because i

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The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

The Directors of Monarch Books suggests that Monarch should open a cafe so that it can attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books. The advice looks reasonable at first glance. However, it does base on several untenable assumptions, which make the whole argument invalid.

First of all, the assumption that a recent national census’s result about the decline in population under age ten will affect the bookstore is doubtable. And the suggestion to close the children’s book section based on this premise is also groundless. Without knowing how long and how soon this decline will shock this country, it is still too early to ignore children’s demand. Actually, even there will be a national decrease in population of kids; it is still too hard to predict the influence for a special area. Maybe people in this city love children very much and keep giving birth to children, while people in other regions enjoy the life of two people. Therefore, the suggestion to discontinue the children’s book section is fallacious because there is no direct evidence to support that the number of children will drop in this area.

Besides, the assumption that open cafe can attract more customers is also unfounded. There is no evidence to support this idea. People who visit the bookstore may not interested in coffee. Or it is very likely that there are several famous cafes which have a wonderful location and atmosphere nearby. Thus, the suggestion that opening a cafe will attract more customers is too feeble. Without real research, it is not persuadable.

Furthermore, the assumption that cafe can make Monarch better compete with Regal Books is also unconvincing. Regal may be very different from Monarch, and cafe should not be the only element Monarch lacks. Therefore, if Monarch wants to compete with Regal, it should figure out its most attractive part instead of making up a general difference. Regal may have a better service which Monarch does not have. Perhaps, Regal has more comfortable seats compare to Monarch. So cafe is not the only reason to make Regal standout. According to that, the thought that opening a cafe can make Monarch more competitive is irrational.

To sum up, the suggestion that Monarch should open a cafe to attract more customers and to better compete with Regal Books is weak. To strengthen his argument, the author should provide some more detail evidences to support that cafe is very important for those who visit the bookstore and also he should show evidence to support that lacking of cafe is the only weakness compare to the Regal.

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Average: 6.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Regal has more comfortable seats compare to Monarch.
Regal has more comfortable seats compared to Monarch.

lacking of cafe is the only weakness compare to the Regal.
lacking of cafe is the only weakness compared to the Regal.

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

flaws:
Better to put the order of the arguments as the order in the statement.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2105 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.873 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.467 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.792 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5