Since road construction on I-72 has begun, we've noticed that parents are picking up their children after the center is officially closed. Effective immediately, parents who pick up their children more than five minutes after closing will have to pay a $10 fee. Parents who pick up their children more than one hour after closing will be subject to an additional $30 fee. We predict this will encourage parents to leave earlier form work to pick up their children on time each day.
Happy Sun Happy Moon daycare is arguing that parents are to late picking their children up from day care and that having fines in place will encourage an earlier arrival. As a parent with children in daycare, I would ask the question of how this is possible. As hour late would warrant being late, five minutes would not. Traffic and road work sometimes do not allow for a prompt arrival daily. Also, would this new idea turn parents away from keeping or choising this daycare for their children?
Although parents should pick up children from daycare at the time previously established, sometimes extra matters get in the way. Unforeseen traffic is one matter that needs to be addressed. While the author assumes there will be traffic on I-72, they do not take into consideration the other parts of road which could have new traffic or a wreck. Leaving work every day at the same time, parents could still have a run in with something making them minutes late. More research would be needed to see if having fines would in turn even get parents to make it on time.
The daycare implies that all parents will still keep their children at Happy Sun Happy Moon with these extra fines. Given that most parents do not want to pay extra, it is an option that some children will go to another daycare. The facility needs to ask itself if the few minutes of staying over is worth the potential of having some kids leave as a result. The recommendation needs to be evaluated futher to see how likely it will produce the response wanted.
These extra questions would need to be answered before placing this fine on all parents who are minutes late receving their child from daycare. Is it worth it? Would these extra fines even get parents to the facility on time considering there could be something else keeping them? More evidence is needed to pursuay the readers that the fines will even make a difference.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The recommendation needs to be evaluated futher to see how likely it will produce the response wanted.
Error: futher Suggestion: father
Sentence: These extra questions would need to be answered before placing this fine on all parents who are minutes late receving their child from daycare.
Error: receving Suggestion: receiving
Sentence: More evidence is needed to pursuay the readers that the fines will even make a difference.
Error: pursuay Suggestion: pursue
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1537 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.561 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.204 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.358 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 218, Rule ID: ASK_THE_QUESTION[1]
Message: Use simply 'ask' instead.
Suggestion: ask
...arent with children in daycare, I would ask the question of how this is possible. As hour late w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ising this daycare for their children? Although parents should pick up children...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... even get parents to make it on time. The daycare implies that all parents wil...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y it will produce the response wanted. These extra questions would need to be a...
^^^
Line 7, column 89, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...before placing this fine on all parents who are minutes late receving their child from ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, still, while, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1579.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68545994065 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.25661363961 2.78398813304 81% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.504451038576 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 705.55239521 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.1574489021 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.7222222222 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7222222222 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.16666666667 5.70786347227 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210646812696 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0709010900726 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567549643423 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142155309371 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0344479153517 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.