"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While it may be true that opening a café will allow Monarch Books to attract more customers but the author’s basis for the argument does not make a cogent case to improve the café’s significance at the expense of a few arrangements and there are a lot of questions that need to be answered in order to prove the validity of the argument. Even though the author’s claim is a wise one as he/she attempts to improve the popularity of the store but the above stated argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to persuade to open a café.
Firstly, the author states that the book store has been in business at the same location for more than twenty years and has a large customer base. The question that needs to be answered here is that why is there a need to open a café to ameliorate the popularity of Monarch book store. Given a large customer base already, the store is not seemingly to beg customers to come to the book store. The long history of its business at the same location proves that it has been a great attraction for the customers already. Unless, there is a valid and representative scope stating that the market value of the store could be in a detrimental position, there is no plausible reason to build attractive corners in the store for the customers.
Secondly, the author proposes the construction of the café in place of the children’s book section, which he claims would become less popular as a consequence of a national consensus which indicates a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. While a café could improve the market value of the book store but building it at the expense of a well established book section does not seem like a good idea. Even though the figures given by the national consensus might be accurate, but we do not know if it is for a particular state or town or city or the country as a whole. The author must thus provide a detailed normed survey of the basis of the consensus. In addition to this, what if the book store attracts a larger customer base because it covers all the sections of books for all the age bars. Thus the author needs to back his argument with effective reasons.
Building upon the implication that the Monarch book store is in competition with the Regal book store which has recently opened its café in order to attract more customers. In order to go ahead with opening a cafe, it is important to know whether the Monarch book store actually need improvement in its market business or not. For example, the book store is at the same location for the past twenty years and has a large customer base ever since. So where is the need to amend the store in order to attract more customers when it is already popular. The author fails to make a valid connection between the need to construct a café and the store’s present state in the market. Maybe if the store was in a crisis and was making less sales than it used to when Regal store did not have a café, it could have been understood that the Monarch book store needs some changes.
To sum up, opening a café would benefit the book store in attracting more customers as they can spend more time and refresh their tummies at the café, as a result of which they will end up buying more books and the café sales would also help the store make good money. However, this author’s argument is not likely significantly to persuade a well formed set of reasons in opening a café in the Monarch book store.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 563, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'opening'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'persuade' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: opening
...and thus, not strong enough to persuade to open a café. Firstly, the author states tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 833, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...sections of books for all the age bars. Thus the author needs to back his argument w...
^^^^
Line 4, column 447, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So where” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d has a large customer base ever since. So where is the need to amend the store in order...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, for example, in addition, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2894.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 637.0 441.139720559 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5431711146 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02382911018 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56371530304 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.405023547881 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 928.8 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.471057884232 212% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.6379249304 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.80952381 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.3333333333 23.324526521 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.85714285714 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.463285271377 0.218282227539 212% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.164724214153 0.0743258471296 222% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110111516944 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.296623063741 0.128457276422 231% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105447625284 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 12.5979740519 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.