Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at
The reading stated that there is a strong direct relationship between global warming and decline of deer population. The author is assuming causal relationships between two pieces of evidence that aren’t necessarily true. There are alternative explanations that may also be true given the material presented.
First, global warming refers to increase in average temperature of atmosphere and oceans, caused by rising concentrations of greenhouse gases generated by human activities. Climate change produces an increase in sea level and species extinction, but it doesn´t reduce the plants which feed to deer populations. It is natural to think that a higher temperature favors the growth of the plants; consequently, the deer would have more food.
Second, global warming has been occurred during one hundred years. If there are an association between climate change and decline of deer population, this problem had to occur several years ago. But one can logically infer based on the information provided in the passage that this problems is happening in the present.
Third, we need more information about the reports from local hunters. I would like to know the percentage decrease of deer populations, the number of years in which this change has been happening or the way in which the local hunters’ reports are realized.
Fourth, the author argues that the decline in deer populations are the result of changes in migration patterns across the frozen sea. But deer have food; consequently, they can feed, grow and reproduce. Author´s theory cannot explain the main reason for decline in deer populations.
On the other hand, it is natural to think that decline in deer populations are associated with global warming, because the author gives no facts or proofs to consider other causes of this problem.
In conclusion, there isn´t sufficient information based on the argument to safely state a relationship between climate change and decline in deer populations. The writer needs to present more evidence to support his opinion.
Sentence: If there are an association between climate change and decline of deer population, this problem had to occur several years ago.
Description: The fragment an association between is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: But one can logically infer based on the information provided in the passage that this problems is happening in the present.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
Sentence: Fourth, the author argues that the decline in deer populations are the result of changes in migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Description: The fragment the result of is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: Authors theory cannot explain the main reason for decline in deer populations.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Authors and theory
Sentence: The author is assuming causal relationships between two pieces of evidence that aren't necessarily true.
Error: aren't Suggestion: are not
Be careful to the sixth paragraph 'On the other hand,...', it leads a wrong understanding for me at least. 'On the other hand'=='However'.
you may write 5 paragraph instead. 7 para are too much.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1668 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.148 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.72 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.133 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.65 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5