"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
In this argument the writer of the letter asserts that a jazz music club in monroe would be be highly profitable enterprise .due to there is no alternative clubs in the city and the nearest one is far away from the city.thus whether they opens a jazz club they will capture the all market share in the city.Furthermore, there are many famous jazz musicians live in Monroe and a radio program which is the highest rated airs every weeknight.The writer also notes that a nationwide study shows that the typical fan spends approximately 1000 per year.
First of all, the writer cites that a nationwide study exhibits that the typical jazz fans spends close on 1000 dolars per year, but the writer provides no evidence as basis for her argument. the writer does not provide further information whether these fans who spends 1000 dolars on jazz entertainment come to Monroe or not. We are not informed what is the budget of people who come to jazz festival every year. Moreover, the writer does provide no evidence about the scope and breadth of survey and how it is relevant to opening a club ain Monroe. And also the writer establish no strong evidence to associate a nationwide study with a jazz club in a city .the writer mentions that over 100.000 people attended monroes jazz festival last summer on the other hand the writer provides no information if this organization is profitable or not. Perhaps its cots can surpasses its revenue thus the organization is not profitable .in addition to this , perhaps these people come from outside just attend for jazz festival. after that they leave from the city so there may be few people who likes to listen jazz in Monroe .
Secondly, the writer notes that a high rated radio program which airs weeknights. this groundless argument can not be basis for set up a jazz club. may be these people who listens jazz from radio they do not like to go a club ,this may be the reasons why they listen it from the radio rather than go to a club. what is more ,the writer fails to convince a causal relationship between some well know jazz musicians and the enterprise. There is no evidence provided to support her argument. May be these musicians are retired and they do not perform any more.in addition to this.
In summary , the writer fails to establish a causal relationship between opening a jazz club and a nationwide study . the evidence are presented are extremely weak. For a stronger argument, the writer needs to put forth evidence associating the enterprise with a radio program and a nationwide study also a jazz festival in Monroe. without providing further evidence the view of writer is unconvincing and also not well reasoned.
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- The council of Maple County, concerned about the county's becoming overdeveloped, is debating a proposed measure that would prevent the development of existing farmland in the county. But the council is also concerned that such a restriction, by limiting 67
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- A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away thus the proposed new jazz club in Monroe the C Note would have the local market all to itself Plus jazz is extremely popular in Mon 68
Sentence: In this argument the writer of the letter asserts that a jazz music club in monroe would be be highly profitable enterprise .due to there is no alternative clubs in the city and the nearest one is far away from the city.thus whether they opens a jazz club they will capture the all market share in the city.Furthermore, there are many famous jazz musicians live in Monroe and a radio program which is the highest rated airs every weeknight.The writer also notes that a nationwide study shows that
Description: The fragment be be contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier
Suggestion: Refer to the and all
Sentence: And also the writer establish no strong evidence to associate a nationwide study with a jazz club in a city .the writer mentions that over 100.000 people attended monroes jazz festival last summer on the other hand the writer provides no information if this organization is profitable or not.
Description: The fragment writer establish no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace establish with verb, past tense
Sentence: First of all, the writer cites that a nationwide study exhibits that the typical jazz fans spends close on 1000 dolars per year, but the writer provides no evidence as basis for her argument. the writer does not provide further information whether these fans who spends 1000 dolars on jazz entertainment come to Monroe or not.
Error: dolars Suggestion: dollars
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2174 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.645 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.479 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.965 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.421 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.166 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5