The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The graphs give information about the change of the amount of Japanese tourists and the corresponding proportion that travel to Australia from 1985 to 1995.
The total amount of Japanese travelers kept an upward trend throughout that period, rising from 5 million in 1985 to 11 million in 1990. After a slight dip in 1991, the figure continued growing and by the end of 1995, the Japanese tourists were three time more than it was 10 years ago.
According, the Australia’s reception of Japanese tourist showed a similar increasing trend. In 1985, there were only 2 percent Japanese tourist chose to go to Australia. Since then, the percentage climbed continuously to just below 5 in 1988. After a light shrink in 1989, it picked up the growth and peaked at 6.2 percent in 1993. In 1994, Australia witnessed a light drop in the Japanese traveller.
Overall, an increasing number of Japanese travelled abroad during 1985 to 1995 and those whose chose to go to Australia is also increasing with a fluctuation in 1990s.
that travel to Australia from 1985 to 1995.
Description: what is the subject for 'travel'?
there were only 2 percent Japanese tourist chose to go to Australia.
there were only 2 percent Japanese tourists who chose to go to Australia.
and those whose chose to go to Australia is also increasing with a fluctuation in 1990s.
and those who chose to go to Australia are also increasing with a fluctuation in 1990s.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Need to improve the language, like:
'it picked up the growth and peaked at 6.2 percent in 1993'
Read more essays by top users:
http://www.testbig.com/users/sfaht1
http://www.testbig.com/users/tessy-james
http://www.testbig.com/users/mrmo2610
http://www.testbig.com/users/nader
http://www.testbig.com/users/subodh860
http://www.testbig.com/users/azizkhan
http://www.testbig.com/users/newuser
http://www.testbig.com/users/misterwandering
http://www.testbig.com/users/elaine-10
http://www.testbig.com/users/habiba
http://www.testbig.com/users/mandy192q
http://www.testbig.com/users/grt2bagal
http://www.testbig.com/users/nikita
http://testbig.com/users/pip-depp
http://testbig.com/users/lynmelissa
http://testbig.com/users/justin
http://testbig.com/users/carmela6
http://testbig.com/users/shi24
http://testbig.com/users/shokh
and more:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/ielts
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 173 200
No. of Characters: 822 1000
No. of Different Words: 103 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.627 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.751 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.688 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 41 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.909 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.426 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4