The graph below provide information about the number of students in three courses from 2001-2004.
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of pupils in three courses during 4 years over ranging from the early 2001 to the last 2004.
The overall growth in number of students in three courses is not always stable, while only course C which has a dramatic increase of the four year period.
First of all, in 2001, over 4 million students who were presumably enrolled onto courses A, while in 2002 the number of students declined in 2.5 million. By 2003 onwards the numbers continued to grow up so that more than 3 million and in the last period held on above 4 million pupils.
Turning to the data for course B can be seen that in 2001, 2 million students took the course. In 2002, the proportions almost doubled to over 4 million people studying in this course. Nevertheless, only approximately 1.9 million people who attended in course B, was a sharp decline in 2003. Slowly but sure, the number of students rose in 2004 with nearly 3 million.
A more detailed look at the graph reveals that only course C which had the significant grow year-by-year. The situation remained reasonably from 2001 to 2002 with 2 million people. Then, in 2003 the number of people rose steadily throughout and stood at peak in the last period with 5 million students.
In conclusion, there has been an overall rise in the number of pupils studying onto all three courses during a 4-year period, between 2001 and 2004.
only course C which has a dramatic increase of the four year period.
only course C which has a dramatic increase in the four year period.
Turning to the data for course B can be seen that
Turning to the data for course B,it can be seen that
only approximately 1.9 million people who attended in course B, was a sharp decline in 2003.
... people ... was a sharp decline in 2003 ?
can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Words: 250 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes. Don't need to go details, just pick up main features and compare.
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 250 200
No. of Characters: 1133 1000
No. of Different Words: 125 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.532 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.437 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.424 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.712 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4