the graph below show the post school qualifications held by australians in the age group of 25 to 34 and 55 to 69. summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant

Essay topics:

the graph below show the post school qualifications held by australians in the age group of 25 to 34 and 55 to 69. summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant

The given pie charts illustrate the post school qualifications of two different age groups one from 25 to 34 and second from 55 to 69 in Australia.

To begin with, it is vivid that most of the Australians held a degree in different streams in the age group of 25 to 34 whereas mere 104800 Australians held a degree between the ages of 55 to 69. The approximately 20% individuals had completed a degree in social, science and arts in both age groups. The administration stream was selected by 19.08% people who were under first age group although it was selected by 14.98% Australians aged between 55 to 69. Moreover, in education field, 14.76% Australians of former group completed degree even though later group had completed degree in such stream was meagre 13.17%.

Furthermore, first aged group who held a degree in science, maths and computer streams was almost doubled as compared second aged group. The number of Australians was approximately same in veterinary, agriculture and other fields. However, the 19.2% Australians who were under aged between 55 and 69 had selected engineering field for a degree whereas it was mere 9.36% in second aged group. The medicine and law field selected 7.4% and 5.54% by first group respectively in contrast to second group, which was 11.3% and 3.34% respectively. In architecture field, the Australians had less interest in contrast to other streams.

Laconically, mostly people completed post school qualifications in social, science and arts by both group of learners.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)

Comments

The approximately 20% individuals had completed a degree
Approximately 20% individuals had completed a degree

even though later group had completed degree in such stream was meagre 13.17%.
Description: two verbs in one sentence. can you re-write this sentence?

as compared second aged group.
as compared to the second aged group.

The number of Australians was approximately same
The number of Australians was approximately the same

Sentence: Moreover, in education field, 14.76 Australians of former group completed degree even though later group had completed degree in such stream was meagre 13.17.
Error: meagre Suggestion: meager

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 250 200
No. of Characters: 1229 1000
No. of Different Words: 112 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.88 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.262 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4