The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the perio 1960 – 2000.Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

Essay topics:

The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the perio 1960 – 2000.

Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

The two graphs provide data about the percentage of smokers in population and the consumption of alcohol per capita in litre for several countries between 1960 and 2000.

The general trend of smokers in the USA, Japan, and Holland decreased steadily. By 1960, these countries altogether experienced the highest percentage of smoker in population, ranging approximately from 40% to 60%. From this year onward, the percentage in all countries fell in different speed. The dramatic fall occured in the USA during 1970 and 1980. Starting as the densest smoker population among three countries, the USA in 2000 eventually reached the same level as Japan who had around 40% of total population. Between this period, Holland could also reduced its percentage more than half, from around 40% to 20%.

As long as the same periode, alcohol consumption in Turkey, Holland, and the USA increased in different rate. A slight rise of alcohol use happened in Turkey which starting just about 1 litre per capita by 1960 and finally becoming 2 litre by 2000. After dramatic climb between 1960 and 1980, alcohol consumption in Holland tended to decline steadily toward 2000. In the USA, by 1960 every person consumed 8 litre and go up steadily toward 1980, and lastly turned to fall from this year onward.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)

Comments

Sentence: A slight rise of alcohol use happened in Turkey which starting just about 1 litre per capita by 1960 and finally becoming 2 litre by 2000.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to which and starting

Sentence: As long as the same periode, alcohol consumption in Turkey, Holland, and the USA increased in different rate.
Error: periode Suggestion: period

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 214 200
No. of Characters: 1042 1000
No. of Different Words: 113 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.825 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.869 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.545 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.821 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.421 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4