The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2004

Essay topics:

The diagram below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2004.

The figures provide the information about a school site in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 20 years later. Road, school building, sports field, car park, and path can be seen the changes.

Firstly, it will be paved a road from the main road at the west to the east woodland. The road will be infrastructure which will connect to replace the sport field. The sport field will be built at the southeast sport field in 2004 map and will be smaller than before.

Secondly, In 2004 the school has two school buildings only, while in the future, the school will have three buildings. At the old sport field in 2004 will be changed by school building three but it will not as big as the sport field before. Across the new building school will be built car park two. The school building one and two in 2024 will be connected, and there is a short path to building three.

Increasing the school building will add almost twice bigger student capacity. Total students who are owned at the school site in 2004 are 600 students. Yet in the next 20 years the number of students will be increased 400 students. It becomes 1000 students.

In conclusion, the school site in 2024 will have big changes in terms of their student capacity, because the school will build new big school building but the student will have a smaller sports field to exercise. The main changes are the school building and the sports field.

Votes
Average: 8.8 (4 votes)

Comments

Road, school building, sports field, car park, and path can be seen the changes.
changes can be seen from road, school building, sports field, car park, and path.

it will be paved a road
a road will be paved

and will be smaller than before.
A will be smaller than B. B is before?

At the old sport field in 2004 will be changed by school building three
Description: what is the subject for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

Across the new building school will be built car park two.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 10
No. of Words: 257 200
No. of Characters: 1132 1000
No. of Different Words: 105 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.004 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.405 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.106 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 69 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 44 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 27 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 9 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.553 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.417 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4