The line chart below shows the annual average life expectancy in four different South-East
Asian countries in 2008.
Summarize the information by choosing and identifying the main features and make
comparisons where relevant.
Write a minimum of 150 words
The bar chart compares how long people expected to live according to gender, in four different Asian countries , in 2008.
Overall , as seen from the chart females were expected to live longer than males in all the four countries in that year.Singapore residents had the longest expected average ages among the four countries. While Burma and Cambodia have nearly the same expected live averages during that period.
In Singapore the females life expectancy approached 88 years ,while males average expected age was 79 years , giving 85 years average for the both sex.
Malaysian average expected age was 71 years . women expected to reach roughly 80 years of age , while men projected to live a decade shorter than women .
Cambodia and Burma shared fairly equal figures. The females were expected to live 5 years longer than males with 62 years average for both sex.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. No. of Words: 144 200 //Minimum 150 words wanted
need more content, for example, in the second paragraph:
'Singapore residents had the longest expected average ages among the four countries. While Burma and Cambodia have nearly the same expected live averages during that period.'
need some content for the country Malaysia too.
2. don't put similar topic in different paragraphs, put them in one paragraph, for example:
In Singapore the females life expectancy approached 88 years ,while males average expected age was 79 years , giving 85 years average for the both sex.
Malaysian average expected age was 71 years . women expected to reach roughly 80 years of age , while men projected to live a decade shorter than women .
Cambodia and Burma shared fairly equal figures. The females were expected to live 5 years longer than males with 62 years average for both sex.
can be put in one paragraph.
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3. better to have 3-4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/you-should-spend-about-20-minutes-t…
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
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4. The best strategy to practice IELTS writing task I:
Step 1, Take about 10 minutes to read one essay by one of the following users:
http://testbig.com/users/dilbar
http://www.testbig.com/users/mrmo2610
http://www.testbig.com/users/xthangbm
or any other sample essays.
in this step, try to analyze how they develop essays, and even try to remember the words, phrases, and sentences they used in the essays.
Step 2, Write the essay in 20 minutes by your own. In this step, don't read the sample essay, but you can apply whatever you can remember from the sample essay to your essays, like words, phrases, and sentences. (It is not shameful at all)
Step 3, Submit the essay to testbig to check out. After the essay submission, you can read the sample essay again and compare. You will understand the differences between the sample essays and your essays.
Step 4, After received the feedback from testbig, double check the flaws of the essay like grammar, structure issues. So don't repeat those issues in the future essays.
Step 5, Try to apply the tips you learned from this sample essay to the next one.
Step 6, Continue the step 1 to step 5 and you will find out the big improvement.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 144 200
No. of Characters: 701 1000
No. of Different Words: 82 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.464 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.868 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.218 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 48 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.139 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.519 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ender, in four different Asian countries , in 2008. Overall , as seen from the ch...
^^
Line 2, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rent Asian countries , in 2008. Overall , as seen from the chart females were exp...
^^
Line 2, column 63, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the chart females were expected to live longer than males in all the four countr...
^^
Line 2, column 121, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Singapore
... in all the four countries in that year.Singapore residents had the longest expected aver...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 18, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'females'' or 'female's'?
Suggestion: females'; female's
...s during that period. In Singapore the females life expectancy approached 88 years ,wh...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 61, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ales life expectancy approached 88 years ,while males average expected age was 79 ...
^^
Line 3, column 108, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... males average expected age was 79 years , giving 85 years average for the both se...
^^
Line 4, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...aysian average expected age was 71 years . women expected to reach roughly 80 yea...
^^
Line 4, column 47, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Women
...an average expected age was 71 years . women expected to reach roughly 80 years of a...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 94, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...xpected to reach roughly 80 years of age , while men projected to live a decade sh...
^^
Line 4, column 152, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...cted to live a decade shorter than women . Cambodia and Burma shared fairly equal...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.0 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 6.8 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 2.0 5.60731707317 36% => OK
Preposition: 16.0 33.7804878049 47% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 0.0 3.97073170732 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 726.0 965.302439024 75% => OK
No of words: 143.0 196.424390244 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07692307692 4.92477711251 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.45807182446 3.73543355544 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42934479622 2.65546596893 91% => OK
Unique words: 83.0 106.607317073 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.58041958042 0.547539520022 106% => OK
syllable_count: 226.8 283.868780488 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.45097560976 110% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.07073170732 374% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.4926829268 76% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.3577501513 43.030603864 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.75 112.824112599 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.875 22.9334400587 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.125 5.23603664747 21% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 11.0 1.69756097561 648% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 3.70975609756 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.13902439024 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154173341001 0.215688989381 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0798634048201 0.103423049105 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056157669824 0.0843802449381 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104222241813 0.15604864568 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0521712923066 0.0819641961636 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 13.2329268293 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 61.2550243902 89% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.3012195122 96% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 11.4140731707 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.06136585366 101% => OK
difficult_words: 33.0 40.7170731707 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.4329268293 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.9970731707 80% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.
More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.