Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essay topics:

Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In modern life, children unhealthy lifestyle is considerable an accelerating trend. For this reason, they are tempted to eat unhygienic diet as there is no restriction from the parents; hence children consume it. They also have less physical activity, which cause their body are vulnerable to get disease. For this case, parents are considerable to measure this problem by rendering healthy diet and encouraging children to take exercise regularly. Instead, school is not responsible, they just concern on academic purpose.

In my personal perspective point of view, parents have a power to manage and create healthy behavior for children since they are a root of children’s development. Healthy behavior focuses on supporting hygiene food and taking exercise regularly. First of all, parents should know kinds foods consumed by children. To exemplify, recent studies from British Heart Foundation (BHF) in 2013 confirms that parents always observe what sort of diets that children consume regularly. That is why they need to be responsible in terms of controlling and carrying children’s health. In addition, parents encourage them to do physical activities regularly; hence, children can avoid the dire consequence from unhealthy lifestyle.

As an educational council, school does not get into unhealthy lifestyle problem attributed to their students, but they concern on academic purposes. For a pragmatic instance, in Indonesia, in terms of Indonesian regulation, the constitution number 20 in 2003 with regard to national education system reveals that school persuades students to acquire a great deal of knowledge. Even though it includes certain character, it does not incorporate the way to eat healthy diet. Teacher in class shares idea and understanding; hence the students understand and obtain new knowledge. To sum up, educational institution is not responsible to unhealthy lifestyle.

The aforementioned evidence shows that describing healthy diet food and supporting children to take exercise should be done by parents in order to create healthy style for children. However, although school is the second student’s environment, they just concern to academic purposes. Where possible, children should follow parent’s advice for eating balance between healthy diet and doing some exercise regularly hence they can get better health future.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)

Comments

is considerable an accelerating trend.
is considerably in an accelerating trend.

which cause their body are vulnerable to get disease
which cause their body vulnerable to get diseases

since they are a root of children's development.
since they are the root of children's development.

Sentence: First of all, parents should know kinds foods consumed by children.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to kinds and foods

Teacher in class shares idea and understanding;
Teachers in class share ideas and understandings;

although school is the second student’s environment, they just concern to academic purposes.
Description: 'they' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1951 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.496 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.826 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.798 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5