More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long

Essay topics:

More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment.
What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?

These days a lot of people despite having a job in the center of the city, are willing to live in the countryside and they have to travel a long distance to get to their workplaces. Consequently, it causes lots of disasters such as increasing the traffic jam and exacerbating air pollution and so forth. Following descriptions are going to introduce some remedies.

One of the most prominent reasons that people are loath to live in the city is air pollution and noisy atmosphere. In my point of view governments can overcome this problem straightforwardly. For instance, the most important origin of air pollution is rooted in the quality of fuels and engines. So, if the authorities set it as a high priority to inspect the factories which produce these sorts of material and equipment a huge amount of problems will be solved. Moreover, another classic example is that increasing the number of public transport could encourage people not to use their own personal cars to go to their workplaces and as a result the volume of heavy traffic and noise would decline considerably.

Nevertheless, another reason that persuades people to live in the suburbs and work in the cities is that a lot of people especially educated ones are satisfied with living in the countryside but they cannot find an appropriate and well-paid job in those areas. Take for example a person who has just graduated from the university as a mechanical engineer and the only job that he can find near his house is relevant to farming. Consequently, he finds all of his knowledge worthless, unless he travels to big cities and gets a vacancy in a famous company. In my opinion the solution for this disaster could be convincing employers to establish their factories in villages and the countryside. For example, the government could motivate employers by giving them some grounds for free to establish their companies.

Overall, although these days lots of people have to travel a long journey to get to their workplaces, this situation could be enhanced and admittedly, there is no reason why people cannot find a satisfactory job near their domiciles.

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flaws:
You need to always focus on 'encourage people not to travel such long distances into work'.

better to organize the content like this in essay body:
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Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
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Make sure you know the words exactly before you use them like: 'loath'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1740 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.847 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.834 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.643 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.854 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5