Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Over the years, sport has played a vital role in human’s life. The concept of sporting celebrations is not only for entertainment but also for easing multinational worries among a vast number of nations around the world. In my opinion, I agree that sporting events are indispensable and should be held in a peaceful way.
Apparently, participation in the events provokes the development of relationship, liberating nationalistic emotions and make much better of understanding each other. For instance, although there was the political tensions and cross-border disputes between Cambodia and Thailand since 2008, it was a historic event that officials from Cambodian Government and the Thai Red Shirts organized a friendship football match on 2011, and the supporters from both sides sat together in the same stadium to honor the match. This proved that sporting activities were also initiated to open possibilities for cease-fire negotiation as well. Until now, problems are almost completely solved.
Moreover, the occasions provide a chance for various nationalities to promote their cultures. Athletes and spectators’ behavior reflects their nation’s aims, feelings, and attitudes during the exciting games. They raise the national flag and logo to show the identity of their nations and pride toward the audiences. Furthermore, it is the norm that people meet each other and talk about interesting places of their countries. This might attract thousands of tourists to visit and invest in many aspects.
However, sporting games may cause violence and other concerns. Most soccer fans seem to fight or even murder the rival teams in an aggressive way if their favorite teams are defeated the match. Similarly, due to the big occasion, some people might be likely to bet a great amount of money on soccer games. This would affect their financial health.
In conclusion, even having some issues, advantages outweigh disadvantages. International sporting events are the sign of peace and should be encouraged.
make much better of understanding each other
make much better of understanding to each other
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.01 0.07
Try this pattern to increase coherence:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1657 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.294 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.868 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.615 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.01 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5