Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about the role of university. While there are some good arguments in favour of benefiting both students and communities, I believe that the purpose of higher education is to prepare them to land well-paid jobs.
On the one hand, some people believe that university study offers a variety of positive experiences for both individuals and societies. Firstly, by studying at university, students would have chances to make friends, provided that many universities not only accept local students, but also overseas students. Therefore, through interaction with international students, local students would be able to expand their networks and horizons along with learning foreign languages and different cultures. Secondly, university life can also bring benefits to societies. Societies will gain the contribution that graduates can make to the economy. We are living a very competitive world, so countries need educated people in order to compete and prosper.
On the other hand, I believe that the main aim of university is to assist graduates in obtaining better jobs. Nowadays, academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to become teachers, lawyers or doctors without having the relevant degree. As a result, university graduates have access to more and better jobs, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with fewer qualifications. In addition, the job market is increasingly competitive, and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. Young people who do not have qualifications from university will not be able to compete.
In conclusion, university education certainly plays its role in positively affecting individual student and society, but I tend to believe that its aim is more focused on dedicating students to a prestigious job.
Comments
thank you for your feedback!
thank you for your feedback!
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph
On the one hand, some people believe that the university environment allows students to make friends. Provided that many universities not only accept local students, but also take overseas students, it may lead to students being able to expand their networks, and horizons. For example, a local student will have the chance to get along with other students of various nationalities, and learn foreign languages and different cultures from them, and vice versa. Therefore, it can be beneficial for individuals to interact with international students.
would this paragraph be better if I wrote it this way?
thanks!
Well, first, this pattern is
Well, first, this pattern is for beginners, just give it for you for reference.
second, the example and the conclusion is not used properly.
How to use the pattern? read this sample:
An example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).
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Suggestions for you:
You don't need the pattern, your own writing style is OK. You just need to develop the sentences smoothly.
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Really appreciate your advice
Really appreciate your advice
I will try my best to write the way you suggested. Thanks!
flaws:
Sentences are not developed smoothly. for example:
'Secondly, university life can also bring benefits to societies. Societies will gain the contribution that graduates can make to the economy. We are living a very competitive world, so countries need educated people in order to compete and prosper.'
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try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 286 350
No. of Characters: 1531 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.112 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.353 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.957 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.389 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5