Some people say success can be achieved through hard work and determination, other argue it is reached by using money and personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay topics:

Some people say success can be achieved through hard work and determination, other argue it is reached by using money and personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is said that victory can be accomplished through working hard or resolution, but some think that bribing and body building can assist them. Let us analyze both the aspects.

It is undeniable that there are a lot of essential steps being successful. Hard work and determination are to use great effort in order to get something accomplished. If you try to be just, fair you have to work not only hard but also intelligent. In general, attempting to learn more things always help the people and surely, it will help you in time. For instance, whenever you are asked what you are taught you can answer it readily, because you do not memorize the material. On the other hand, you are in peace, because you will not feel regret and self-reproach and it is seen, you are in the right way.

Nowadays, people do not like to utilize working zealously, because it is very arduous for them. Therefore, money is automatically included into their affairs and this can be hardship for future. Such as the contrary before I said. It is unbearable that, many people do like to insert the money into their affairs, and unfortunately, this is going up increasingly. In their opinion, they have a right to do it and they do not regret, but, on the whole, it is a big peril. From their perspective, there are accustomed to this way and they do not want to give up.

To summarize, I recommend people to be more careful and fair when they select the way. Due to this, their children will acquaint themselves with this and they will also choose this way. As a result, I resist the way which we use the money and appearance.

Votes
Average: 4 (2 votes)

Comments

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 152 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 290 350
No. of Characters: 1271 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.383 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.363 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

You will need to improve the language from vocabulary words to sentences. Look at this sentence:

'For instance, whenever you are asked what you are taught you can answer it readily, because you do not memorize the material. On the other hand, you are in peace, because you will not feel regret and self-reproach and it is seen, you are in the right way.'

You will realize that all of the subjects for the sentences are 'you'. So you need more sentence varieties.

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