There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
It is sometimes argue western music more advantages than folk music which western music more popular than folk music. While I accept that it suits with many people, I believe that folk music has advantages also like western music and both of them is necessary.
Music is one of human needs at this time which everybody like to hear music and pupils become fresh when they listen music. Ever kinds of music have their advantages such classical music that can improve brainpower of fetus, if the woman who pregnant listen classical music. This is one of the reason why pupils say the western music important to heard by human and many people suggest for pregnant woman to hear the music.
In the other hand, folk music has their advantages also for people’s nationality. Some people like to hear western music but they ignore the folk music and not respect with their with their national music. One of the function when teacher ask the students to listen folk song is to grow the fell of nationality of the students. Student can get nationality felling when they respect to their country product, and one the product is music that created by native person.
In conclusion, both of western music and folk music have advantages for human however they have difference each others. Because music has advantages for pupils, they become important aspect for human and human need music, without music their life will be bore. It is not about what kind of music people hear but it is about taste.
It is sometimes argue western music more advantages than folk music which western music more popular than folk music.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
and both of them is necessary.
and both of them are necessary.
one of the reason
one of the reasons
In the other hand,
On the other hand,
One of the function
One of the functions
grow the fell of nationality of the students.
grow the felling of nationality for the students.
and one the product is music that created by native person.
and one the products is music that is created by native person.
Sentence: Ever kinds of music have their advantages such classical music that can improve brainpower of fetus, if the woman who pregnant listen classical music.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to who and pregnant
Sentence: This is one of the reason why pupils say the western music important to heard by human and many people suggest for pregnant woman to hear the music.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and heard
Sentence: One of the function when teacher ask the students to listen folk song is to grow the fell of nationality of the students.
Description: The fragment teacher ask the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ask with verb, past tense
Sentence: In conclusion, both of western music and folk music have advantages for human however they have difference each others.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
Sentence: Because music has advantages for pupils, they become important aspect for human and human need music, without music their life will be bore.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to music and their
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 258 350
No. of Characters: 1207 1500
No. of Different Words: 114 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.008 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.678 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.128 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 67 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 48 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.133 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.508 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.673 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5