There are many different types of music in the world. Why do we have need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Different people have different choice about listening music, which lead to produce various types of music in the world. While music is vital for every nation, it can be argued that traditional music is more important than international music for a country. This will be shown by analyzing about personal, economical, and cultural view point of a nation.
This is certainly true that music play a significant role in human life in many ways. Firstly, people can relief from their colossal amount of mental pressures when they listens music. Secondly, music is now widely used in medical science for the different diseases instead of drugs. Finally, it creates some job opportunities in which way many people can live with a standard life. For example, many countries people, Bangladesh and India in particular, are working in the music industries and these people can maintain happy life. This example makes it clear that music is indispensable in the sense of personal satisfaction and economical development.
Certainly, traditional music can bring immense benefits of a country whereas the international music can spoil indigenous culture of a country. The international music causes not only destruction of a culture but also it increases the unemployment rate of a country. For example, if people of a country are listen international music regularly, the popularity of traditional music will reduce, which may fetch catastrophic effect on the home musical industries, which may lead unemployment rate of a country. Therefore, traditional music is important in terms of cultural and economical development.
In conclusion, music is necessary for the people for personal satisfaction. In addition, a traditional music is the identity of a country that reflects culture, education, and religion of the country concerned.
Comments
Dear Sir, Thank you very much
Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for your kind assessment. Can I write the sentence in this way :
"Firstly, people may relieve from their colossal amount of mental pressures when they listen music".
"For example, people of many countries, Bangladesh and India in particular, are working in the music industries and these people are maintaining happy life".
I would be grateful if you give me a piece of advice.
Thanks in advance.
It is OK now. You may read a
It is OK now.
You may read a good grammar book for sentence structures.
Double check grammar issues after essay writing.
Sentence: This is certainly true that music play a significant role in human life in many ways.
Description: The fragment music play a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace play with verb, past tense
Sentence: Firstly, people can relief from their colossal amount of mental pressures when they listens music.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and relief
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to they and listens
Sentence: For example, many countries people, Bangladesh and India in particular, are working in the music industries and these people can maintain happy life.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to countries and people
if people of a country are listen international music regularly
if people of a country are listening international music regularly
the popularity of traditional music will reduce, which may fetch catastrophic effect on the home musical industries, which may lead unemployment rate of a country.
Description: don't put two 'which' in one sentence
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1501 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.267 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.963 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.922 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5