Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements.Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people.To what extent you agree or disagree.
It is true that famous people such as actors and singers are well known for their beauty and richness rather than their goals. Therefore, many people argue that they can have bad influence on youngsters. While I accept that this may suit many people, I do belive that others are motivated by them.
On the one hand, young people nowadays are easily affected by their idols. If they know that the one they idolize gain their popularity by having nothing but their outlook and wealth, they will think that they can follow their way of success as well. Consequently, they spend a lot of money on spas and beauty salons to make up their appearance in the hope of being a superstar someday. It is a waste of time and money because at their age, the top priority is to study hard to pursue higher education in order to guarantee a successful career.
On the other hand, others have different reasons apart from superstars' beauty and affluence to them as a role model. Firstly, many famous celebrities gain respect for their good personality and hard work. Bangtan Boys as known as BTS, for instance, is a Korean boy band, which is all the rage at the moment because of their worldwide achievements as well as their good traits. Despite the fact that they come from a small firm and had had a huge debt to pay off, they never give up and always make an all-out effort to chase after their dreams. Secondly, these days famous people keeps practising to show off their abilities and talents to the publicity so as to prove that they deserve what they has achieved. As a saying goes "Fame lasts forever while bad reputation lasts temporary", they try their best to break through their scandals and make their known among the society at large.
In conclusion, it is certainly true that celebrities who are famous for their appearance and wealth are considered to have a negative impact on young people who may copy their way of becoming famous but this is by no means the key problem for youngsters in looking up to them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 131, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
... to them as a role model. Firstly, many famous celebrities gain respect for their good personality...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 431, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...ct that they come from a small firm and had had a huge debt to pay off, they never give...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 654, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... abilities and talents to the publicity so as to prove that they deserve what they has a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 697, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...as to prove that they deserve what they has achieved. As a saying goes 'Fame l...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, apart from, as to, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as well as, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 24.0651302605 204% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 41.998997996 112% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 360.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63333333333 5.12529762239 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42784134165 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544444444444 0.561755894193 97% => OK
syllable_count: 506.7 506.74238477 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.4878994801 49.4020404114 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.142857143 106.682146367 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7142857143 20.7667163134 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.8571428571 7.06120827912 196% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21929683595 0.244688304435 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0801127231456 0.084324248473 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580258506407 0.0667982634062 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153081585662 0.151304729494 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0416333427832 0.056905535591 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 13.0946893788 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 50.2224549098 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 12.4159519038 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.58950901804 91% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 78.4519038076 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.