For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?
As time passes, we human are modifying in order to keep up with modern world, especially modernization. In additional, not only modern progression, but also another things are responsible for endanger art, that appreciated by conservative people. In this essay, I will explore the reason, pushing art to demolish and give some good idea about how can we treat art appropriately, as well as there will be a logical conclusion.
In my view, the main causes is strong desire of using such technological development and employ business in intend of extract money and feel artificial emotion. In additional, more and more people, particularly children prefer to play video games and do job in their office room by such technology as computer, laptop and tablet, instead of enjoy art. For example, when I was a child, Mongolians used to appreciate traditional art in many ways. Moreover, conventional singing and cultural dance were common, which is believed by us to survive our muse. With the presence of such modernization, there have been a hidden danger that our cultural art not be able to appreciate in valuable manner.
Therefore, it is time to pay people’s attention to art. However these aspects are not similar to each other, by approving connection between technology, business, and art, we can save our traditional art. For example, if people want to enjoy art, there is always possible method that all technology have been producing with music player and gallery. In terms of draw people’s attention, music player is the best way to listen their nation’s music and they can also dance as cultural. Another example is that, thanks to internet access, more and more people from all around the world enjoy art, in exact time and place, they wish. As result it is simplest solution, which can prove arts safety.
In conclusion, it is undeniably true that art is in brink to die out. Personally, we can draw people’s consideration, by combining technology and art.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...as there will be a logical conclusion. In my view, the main causes is strong desi...
^^
Line 2, column 161, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ract money and feel artificial emotion. In additional, more and more people, parti...
^^
Line 3, column 61, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
... to pay people's attention to art. However these aspects are not similar to each o...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 658, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'is the simplest'.
Suggestion: is the simplest
...time and place, they wish. As result it is simplest solution, which can prove arts safety. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, another thing, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1665.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 328.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0762195122 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96427864299 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594512195122 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 525.6 506.74238477 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.76152304609 231% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.5513412383 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.0625 106.682146367 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 20.7667163134 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24500893829 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816384205351 0.084324248473 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468934037514 0.0667982634062 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144765838231 0.151304729494 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0408249800479 0.056905535591 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.