Introduction of varieties of foods and technological advancement is doing more harm than good to the growing children of this era. As many parents are out there in their busy schedule setting out to make ends meet, there children are like ships without a shephered to care for so they make their choices and choose wrongly, they chooses to eat whatever they like in the street, no one to really monitor or look after them and watch what they eat, as a result of this, they are badly behaved and stubborn, moreover, they tend to go after junk foods that may contain complex nutritional values known to be harmful to their health, consequently, this has led to obesity in children ,heart and kidney failure while some inturn suffer high blood pressure, this was not the case in the past, unlike in the past generation, where parent see their children as there greatest asset and there needs as their major priority, they make sure there children are well cared for,they provide them foods enriched with good nutritional value, they are not left to theirselves alone, this way the kids are well fed and well behaved.
Inaddition to this notion, as technology advances, many children of this era has chooses to follow the trend of things, for example nowadays children have choosen to occupy their quality time in social networking, lot of them spend most of their time playing video and computer games, watching movies, they are carried carried away with the changes of things which in turn has cause them to perform absolutely poor at school because they have little or no time to study at home as they waste most of their time playing video and computer games and social networking.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that technological advancement is a good thing although it has been abuse by nowadays children. However this technologies could be used as a learning tools for the children if channeled into their learning curriculum like the computer. moreover, parent should adjust their busy time and rather pay more attention to their children's welfare and attitude to food.
Thank you sir, I will work on
Thank you sir, I will work on this correction and do better. God bless you for creating this free of charge learning tool.
Sir did I start my
Sir did I start my introduction and end my conclusion well ?
Don't start to develop ideas
Don't start to develop ideas in the introduction, only show off your opinions.
The conclusion is OK.
Thank you sir. Sir I am on
Thank you sir. Sir I am on the 6th of December, sir what is your advise for me ?
Thank you sir. Sir I am
Thank you sir. Sir I am writing the academic version on the 6th of December, sir what is your advise for me ?
many children of this era has chooses
many children of this era have choices
the changes of things which in turn has cause them to perform absolutely poor
the changes of things which in turn have caused them to perform absolutely poor
although it has been abuse by nowadays children.
although it has been abused by children nowadays .
However this technologies could be used as a learning tools for the children
However these technologies could be used as learning tools for the children
Sentence: consequently, this has led to obesity in children ,heart and kidney failure while some inturn suffer high blood pressure, this was not the case in the past, unlike in the past generation, where parent see their children as there greatest asset and there needs as their major priority, they make sure there children are well cared for,they provide them foods enriched with good nutritional value, they are not left to theirselves alone, this way the kids are well fed and well behaved.
Error: inturn Suggestion: in turn
Error: theirselves Suggestion: themselves
Sentence: Inaddition to this notion, as technology advances, many children of this era has chooses to follow the trend of things, for example nowadays children have choosen to occupy their quality time in social networking, lot of them spend most of their time playing video and computer games, watching movies, they are carried carried away with the changes of things which in turn has cause them to perform absolutely poor at school because they have little or no time to study at home as they waste most of
Error: choosen Suggestion: chosen
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 354 350
No. of Characters: 1698 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.338 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.797 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.436 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 32.824 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.439 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5