With the pressure on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that no academic subjects at school should be remove from syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Nowadays, the society is demanding more and more young people to be successful in the academic fields. Some people claim that schools should eliminate all non-academic subjects in order to give children a full concentration on academic subjects. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this idea.
Admittedly, it is undeniable that when non-academic subjects have been gone, students will spend more time on learning academic subject. Therefore, they will achieve a better result in these subjects to attend easily a well-known university or college, which enable them to succeed in the future. Iron...
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the society is demanding more and more young people
the society is demanding more and more on young people
flaws:
Better to organize the content like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 295 350
No. of Characters: 1450 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.144 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.915 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.57 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5