Question: Some people say that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
(IELTS Academic – 02/10/2021)
Our current society has seen women make meaningful advancements in both professional and personal aspects. However, the stereotypical belief that women are naturally less competitive than men is still held by many people. In my estimation, I disagree with this sentiment since women are as equally driven as men to succeed and they have biological duties that are merely different to men.
Firstly, contemporary society has witnessed modern women rapidly progressing in professional and personal spheres. Females work in almost every business sector as they can excel equally as well at any job as their male counterparts. Women have risen to the same executive-level positions as men within the private sector as they are motivated now to do so out of a desire to be treated and considered as equals. A clear example of this is VietJet CEO Nguyen Thi Phuong Thao, who thanks to her unflinching will to compete in the male-dominated air travel industry in Vietnam, now has a net worth of 2.8 billion US dollars, making her the second richest person in Vietnam and the richest woman in the country.
Secondly, this stereotype only persists because women have inherent biological duties that are unique to them such as birthing and rearing children that are more subtly competitive. Because of those household and maternal duties, many women leave their jobs to dedicate enough time to raising a family. If women are to establish themselves professionally, they have to expend more effort to have time for their careers. Unlike with men, it is not always possible for women to do this because their biological responsibilities as wives and mothers are an obstacle for their career aspirations. However, this obscures the competitive nature of women since they often leave their jobs to raise families. These inherent biological duties merely put women in a different place from men and the byproduct is that it conceals their competitive nature.
In conclusion, I do not concur with the assertion that men are naturally more competitive than women since they have shown to be equally driven as men in being proficient at their work and their biological traits are the reason for this prejudice. With the way society is currently progressing, this conservative way of thinking is becoming rapidly outmoded.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 179, Rule ID: EQUALLY_AS[1]
Message: Don't say 'equally as'. You can use either 'equally' or 'as' on its own. When comparing two nouns, use 'just as'.
Suggestion: equally; as; just as
...every business sector as they can excel equally as well at any job as their male counterpa...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, well, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1937.0 1615.20841683 120% => OK
No of words: 376.0 315.596192385 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15159574468 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.20363070211 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89424151389 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 176.041082164 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529255319149 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 629.1 506.74238477 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.1624716324 49.4020404114 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.133333333 106.682146367 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0666666667 20.7667163134 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73333333333 7.06120827912 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169431577004 0.244688304435 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.06674278475 0.084324248473 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0544206923903 0.0667982634062 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120566195795 0.151304729494 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477377109533 0.056905535591 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 13.0946893788 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 50.2224549098 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.4159519038 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 78.4519038076 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.