Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Individuals hold different opinions about distinctive recipes for success. While many believe that success results from money and personal appearance, I advocate with another idea that hard work and perseverance are genuinely core factors.
On the one hand, I do agree with those who maintain that industry and dogged determination are much more vital, paving the way to success. The prime example of this is Nick Vujick, a globally famous inspirational speaker, who was born with severe disease which result in the loss of four limbs. Despite of suffering that adversity, he has achieved numerous personal achievements with four bachelor's degrees in Australia and become an well-known inspirator who inspire driving forces for people around the world, especially those disabled. Another example that deserve public attention is Jack Ma, a billionaire in China. In his early life, he had to ride his bicycle for about 40 minutes from his house and give the foreiners the tours for free in order to improve his English. By doing so, he could have the good command of English and has become one of the most influential chinese billionaire. Consequently, it is evident that people who show commitment and perseverance could be flying high and fulfill their dreams.
On the other hand, money and personal outward could be the possible factors which lead to success. It is true that many singers rock to stardom without experencing any training sessions or even have bad voice, seeing that they are good-looking and have investing heavily in their outfit, their appearance. To illustrate, Son Tung MTP is one of the most renowed young singers in Vietnam. Though his voice is not great sufficient to become a star, thanks to outstanding garment and eye-catching video clips, he has drawed the attention of many youngsters as his adoring fans. Cuong Dollar is also a case of successful businessman owing to his mother money. His success, therefore, could be attributed to money and prestige instead of through making heroic efforts in his career path.
In conclusion, it seems to me that people who are industrious and show determination are more likely to lead successful lives, although material comforts and outward appearance could be the probable factors to some extent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'cored'.
Suggestion: cored
...ard work and perseverance are genuinely core factors. On the one hand, I do agre...
^^^^
Line 3, column 432, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...chelors degrees in Australia and become an well-known inspirator who inspire drivi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, look, so, therefore, well, while, in conclusion, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 7.30460921844 219% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 35.0 24.0651302605 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 41.998997996 110% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1909.0 1615.20841683 118% => OK
No of words: 369.0 315.596192385 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17344173442 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75792628919 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 176.041082164 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.60433604336 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 506.74238477 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 1.0 0.384769539078 260% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.6174328595 49.4020404114 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.3125 106.682146367 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0625 20.7667163134 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6875 7.06120827912 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164054548854 0.244688304435 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0517405851162 0.084324248473 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0664395532993 0.0667982634062 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118001914298 0.151304729494 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0616006344649 0.056905535591 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 50.2224549098 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.4159519038 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 78.4519038076 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.