Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer nad give your own opinion.
Some would argue that video games are not good for kids, while others would say that they can provide some benefit. While games can improve children’s language skills, i believe that they result in children not excercising and becoming everweight.
The main advantage to playing computer games when a person is young is that it exposes young people to foreign languages in an authentic context. This enables them to practice a second language in real life, which is much more enjoyable and productive than the classroom. For example, teenagers in Asia can chat to American and British people while they play online games like World of Warcraft. Dispite this, I believe that this encourages children to lead a very sedentary lifestyle which can lead to poor health.
Playing online games for extended periods of time means that children do very little exercise. This leads to obecity related disease, such as diabetes and heart disease, later in life because they become obese. For example, it is estimated by WHO that children are now 30% more likely to be fatter than kids 30 years ago due to the fact that they now prefer to play indoors rather than outside where they are more likely to get exercise. I believe that this makes oevrconsumption of video games dangerous and they should only be used in moderation.
In conclusion, although computer games can help children improve their linguistic ability, they also prevent them from getting enough exercise and they should therefore only be used sparingly. Where possible, some serious consequences should be taken into consederation.
Sentence: While games can improve children's language skills, i believe that they result in children not excercising and becoming everweight.
Error: everweight Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: excercising Suggestion: exercising
Sentence: This leads to obecity related disease, such as diabetes and heart disease, later in life because they become obese.
Error: obecity Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I believe that this makes oevrconsumption of video games dangerous and they should only be used in moderation.
Error: oevrconsumption Suggestion: consumption
Sentence: Where possible, some serious consequences should be taken into consederation.
Error: consederation Suggestion: consideration
flaws:
Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Try to use less modal verbs (like 'must , shall , will , should , would , can , could , may , and might')
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 261 350
No. of Characters: 1299 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.019 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.977 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.434 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.97 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5