Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The topic of museums and art galleries' concentration is hotly-debated that often divides opinions. Some supporters may see that home country’s history should be presented deeply and clearly, while some critics might claim that many children have not had a chance traveling to other country and learn international history clearly. In my opinion, I do tally agree with the latter since the drawbacks of museums and art galleries presenting local contents do outweigh their benefits.
However, some advocators may argue that modern people do not have enough knowledge about their ancestors, it will be better to establish studying places involve that. Still, I found that this argument is invalid because all citizens normally familiar with their nation’s history. Therefore, it is not uncommon that the popularity of other region’s story increases continuously. Is it acceptable to focus on only chronicle of their own nation?
On top of that, another obvious benefit of concentrating on worldwide chronicles is raising understand about international crisis. World War II, for example, has not well known about a true cause; if teens deserved the fact of this story, they will be instilled consciousness about poaching independence and lands of other countries in an illegal way. Besides, Children can absorb the reasons causing serious event around the world and apply those in education at school; moreover, this mentioned reason like a way to explain cultural value of distinctive countries as well. Although there are a large number of story around the world collected and separated correctly, it will be worthwhile.
In conclusion, eventhough interesting in homeland history pose some minor merits, museums and art galleries presenting chronicle from other parts of the world show much more benefits to society. So, I would like to suggest that government support an amount of money to make this project comes true, and to advise that people concentrate story excepting their own region in addition to avoid futuristic troubles which happened in the past before.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 334, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an illegal way" with adverb for "illegal"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...dependence and lands of other countries in an illegal way. Besides, Children can absorb the reaso...
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Line 3, column 595, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...e countries as well. Although there are a large number of story around the world collected and se...
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Line 4, column 447, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bles which happened in the past before.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in my opinion, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 10.4138276553 86% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 41.998997996 105% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1766.0 1615.20841683 109% => OK
No of words: 325.0 315.596192385 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.43384615385 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89816755001 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 176.041082164 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.646153846154 0.561755894193 115% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 506.74238477 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.9249667686 49.4020404114 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.846153846 106.682146367 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 20.7667163134 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.9230769231 7.06120827912 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.333760461873 0.244688304435 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101563597257 0.084324248473 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770387689334 0.0667982634062 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189990279069 0.151304729494 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0979550148549 0.056905535591 172% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 13.0946893788 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 50.2224549098 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.51 12.4159519038 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.03 8.58950901804 117% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 78.4519038076 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.