Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.
Filling forms for applying for jobs always is first stage of the recruitment procedures, there are getting more and more unnecessary fields to be the must fields, such as marriage status or age.
It's unuseful for candidate are required, the work ability of a person should not depend on these information, for example: Usually women take a responsibility more in the family after marriage, So it's unfair for employers think or treat female candidate as low exploitation or less productivity when women take care of children don't have more time to do jobs, because that's every citizen need to take this duty, not only for women, our children is next generation who pay taxes, social welfare expenditure and earning income for supplying our this generation.
Everyone has different planning, spirit, thoughts, potential abilities in each stage, that called human evolution. How can we identity current interests or hobbies of personality to predict his or her developments? Like "Courage comes through suffering." someone says, these courage didn't belong original himself but get it after suffering, that means interests can be made or created by tremendous effort.
In contrast to go to college, Whatever every same action build habbies day by day, it also means bad behaviors could affect your work or future. But I would rather believe human always have unlimited potential capacity. Therefore, employer should not ask people applying for jobs for personal information.
Comments
hi sandy,
hi sandy,
here's what i have noticed on the essay
-sometimes you forgot to put articles(the, an, a etc) before the nouns. ex. paragraph 1":... is first (the) stage...."
-sometimes you misplace the adverbs/adjectives in sentence position. these two should be near(usually before or right next) to the words they modify. ex. p.1."....always is first stage..." suggestion:"...is always the first stage.."
-sometimes, adjectives are replaced by nouns: "...think or treat female candidate as low exploitation or less productivity when women..."
according to the context of the essay, it's rather appropriate to use adjective than nouns (low exploitation or less productivity)
-the second sentence in paragraph 2 is a Run-on sentence. try to separate it into two or more sentences and put transition words in it.
-sometimes, the relationship among the sentences doesnt show unity. again, try to add transition words so the flow of the argument is fluid.
I hope my review helps you
Jen
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 92, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...bility of a person should not depend on these information, for example: Usually women take a resp...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...tivity when women take care of children dont have more time to do jobs, because that...
^^^^
Line 3, column 369, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...dont have more time to do jobs, because thats every citizen need to take this duty, n...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s through suffering.' someone says, these courage didnt belong original hims...
^^
Line 5, column 283, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this courage' or 'these courages'?
Suggestion: this courage; these courages
...through suffering.' someone says, these courage didnt belong original himself but get i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 297, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ing.' someone says, these courage didnt belong original himself but get it afte...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'so', 'therefore', 'for example', 'in contrast', 'such as', 'in contrast to']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.284644194757 0.247107183377 115% => OK
Verbs: 0.153558052434 0.155533422707 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0898876404494 0.0946595960268 95% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0411985018727 0.0501214627716 82% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0449438202247 0.0437548338989 103% => OK
Prepositions: 0.101123595506 0.122226691241 83% => OK
Participles: 0.0411985018727 0.0403226058552 102% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.86042723678 2.80594681477 102% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0224719101124 0.0326793684256 69% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0524344569288 0.0861772015684 61% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0262172284644 0.021408717616 122% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0224719101124 0.011925033212 188% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1491.0 1933.35771543 77% => OK
No of words: 234.0 316.048096192 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.37179487179 6.12580529183 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.91114542567 4.20517956788 93% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.405982905983 0.374742101984 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.311965811966 0.28420135186 110% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.217948717949 0.203846283523 107% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.153846153846 0.137316102897 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86042723678 2.80594681477 102% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.037074148 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.726495726496 0.56093040696 130% => OK
Word variations: 95.8423684624 60.7387585426 158% => OK
How many sentences: 8.0 16.0891783567 50% => More sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 29.25 20.7743622355 141% => OK
Sentence length SD: 148.608073048 49.517814964 300% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 186.375 127.492653851 146% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.25 20.7743622355 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.25 0.814263465372 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38877755511 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.99599198397 150% => OK
Readability: 60.4465811966 49.1944974215 123% => OK
Elegance: 1.78125 1.69124875643 105% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26673634531 0.332605444948 80% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0678660715111 0.102741220458 66% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.095506580396 0.0668466124924 143% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.601027972062 0.534860350844 112% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.258029452417 0.148594505496 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106780987696 0.134430193775 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105452097465 0.0742795772207 142% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.139526771456 0.324371583561 43% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0794117348814 0.0638462369009 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15426490448 0.228012699653 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0519168439481 0.058150111329 89% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.68436873747 46% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.41683366733 88% => OK
Positive topic words: 3.0 5.90881763527 51% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.5751503006 39% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 1.9629258517 153% => OK
Total topic words: 7.0 10.4468937876 67% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.