People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer.To what extent do you agree or disagree? | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a vast development in the current medical field due to which there is a considerable increase in average life expectancy in humans. There is an ongoing debate that people live longer life and because of which the retention period should be increased in workforce. I completely disagree with this notion and I believe that raising the retirement age will not benefit the organisation and society.<o:p></o:p>To begin with, retaining old employees will not benefit the company in longer term. Firstly, older people are not easily
adaptive to new change. In today's trend it is imperative to update the skills to align with rapid changes in technological advancement. So organisation will find difficult to implement the new process among older people. As a consequence company may incur some loss due to shortage in skill set. Secondly,there would be a decrease in productivity because elderly people will have some health issues and they may need some frequent leaves. Finally, company has to pay more salary to senior staff. This will be a huge burden to mid size company that yields very fewer profits.<o:p></o:p>Furthermore, extending retention period in organisation will create an unemployment issues among younger generation. There is a steady increase in younger population when compared to last two decades. If elderly people are retained for longer period then there will be very less job vacancy. Due to lack of job many youngsters may indulge in theft and other unethical means of earning money. This will lead to increase in crime rate and pose great threat to society. For example, in recent study conducted by United Nations concluded that the unemployment rate in India is around 60% in the age group of 20 to 40 years old. Hence Government is planning to cut down retirement age at least by five years to increase the employment opportunities for young people.In conclusion, I strongly opine that people should not be retained for longer period in workplace. Equal opportunities should be created for the benefit of society peop and organizations.<o:p></o:p>

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Votes

Essay Categories

IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 679, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &quot
...;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: &...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 232, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...bsp;the new process among older people. As a consequence company may incur some lo...
^^
Line 3, column 315, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...s due to shortage in skill set. Secondly,there would be a decrease in productivity bec...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 28, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &quot
...ont-family: "Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:&qu...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1670, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...in the age group of 20 to 40 years old. Hence Government is planning to cut ^^^^^
Line 4, column 2478, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &quot
...;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:&...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 106, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &quot
...;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: &...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 106, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &quot
...;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"'>

^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, as to, at least, for example, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 7.85571142285 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 24.0651302605 54% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 41.998997996 119% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.3376753507 192% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4264.0 1615.20841683 264% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 461.0 315.596192385 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 9.24945770065 5.12529762239 180% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.20363070211 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 10.7917616281 2.80592935109 385% => Word_Length_SD is high.
Unique words: 229.0 176.041082164 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496746203905 0.561755894193 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1101.6 506.74238477 217% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 2.4 1.60771543086 149% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 211.239823366 49.4020404114 428% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 250.823529412 106.682146367 235% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 27.1176470588 20.7667163134 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.23529411765 7.06120827912 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 4.38176352705 183% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.01903807615 159% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.9879759519 226% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0279297013654 0.244688304435 11% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.02776344407 0.084324248473 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0417039042267 0.0667982634062 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.020694491633 0.151304729494 14% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0233956274342 0.056905535591 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 35.7 13.0946893788 273% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -23.61 50.2224549098 -47% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.44779559118 196% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 23.3 11.3001002004 206% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 36.67 12.4159519038 295% => Coleman_liau_index is high.
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.46 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 78.4519038076 167% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 24.0 9.78957915832 245% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 24.0 10.7795591182 223% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.