Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement Do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience

Essay topics:

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience

whether people should continue their work once they reach retirement age or not is a argument of great debate. "Money is the worst discovery of human life; it is the most trusted material to test human nature". Human work through out their life in order to just fulfill the basic necessities of life. However, some people do jobs to gain experience and wants to serve the nation. I am completely agree with the given statement and shall explore the same from various aspects in the following paragraphs.

There are some ratio of people who believe that an individual should not persist his/her work at the age of retirement. The main reason for believing this is that old people are not physically fit for some jobs that require great energy and enthusiasm. There are various profession: Police and Military where young people can handle the mental as well as physical obstacles. In addition to this, grey people face stress, pressure, hypertension and anxiety while working; leads to ample problems related to brain and heart. Instead of this,they should enjoy their life after retirement and do some exercises to be calm, relax and should live a stress free life; enhance the longevity.

Although,unemployment have been one of the severe issues in the developing country. Moreover, retirement age has been introduce in the law in order to break the deadlock cycle by providing the employment to upcoming future of the country:youth.However, pursuing to work after retirement will not provide a chance to young people to show their caliber, skills and would not allow them to gain experience in any profession.Rather senior employees can train their juniors and provide their advise in any crucial circumstances; who wants to serve their nation after retirement also.

In conclusion, there are many answer to the given question.Howbeit, I tend to believe that senior citizen should not work after retirement age because young people has the right to get a job on the basis of their skills and potentials. In spite of this, if old people want to serve the country then they should guide their junior and share their experiences .

Votes
Average: 5.4 (7 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
whether people should continue their work once ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nce they reach retirement age or not is a argument of great debate. 'Money i...
^
Line 1, column 233, Rule ID: THROUGH_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'throughout'?
Suggestion: throughout
... to test human nature'. Human work through out their life in order to just fulfill the...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 285, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
...their life in order to just fulfill the basic necessities of life. However, some people do jobs t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 407, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
...ts to serve the nation. I am completely agree with the given statement and shall expl...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 16, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'ratios'?
Suggestion: ratios
...following paragraphs. There are some ratio of people who believe that an individua...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 272, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'professions'?
Suggestion: professions
...nergy and enthusiasm. There are various profession: Police and Military where young people...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 539, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...ated to brain and heart. Instead of this,they should enjoy their life after retiremen...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ss free life; enhance the longevity. Although,unemployment have been one of the sever...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , unemployment
...life; enhance the longevity. Although,unemployment have been one of the severe issues in t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 119, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'introduced'.
Suggestion: introduced
...ntry. Moreover, retirement age has been introduce in the law in order to break the deadlo...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 245, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...to upcoming future of the country:youth.However, pursuing to work after retirement will...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 422, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Rather
...em to gain experience in any profession.Rather senior employees can train their junior...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 422, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...em to gain experience in any profession.Rather senior employees can train their junior...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 574, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
... to serve their nation after retirement also. In conclusion, there are many answe...
^^^^
Line 7, column 26, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun answer seems to be countable; consider using: 'many answers'.
Suggestion: many answers
...ement also. In conclusion, there are many answer to the given question.Howbeit, I tend t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 31, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'answers'?
Suggestion: answers
... also. In conclusion, there are many answer to the given question.Howbeit, I tend t...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 60, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Howbeit
...e are many answer to the given question.Howbeit, I tend to believe that senior citizen ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 358, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...their junior and share their experiences .
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, moreover, so, then, thus, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, in spite of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.3376753507 192% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1795.0 1615.20841683 111% => OK
No of words: 353.0 315.596192385 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08498583569 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95470638597 2.80592935109 105% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555240793201 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 102.082324721 49.4020404114 207% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 128.214285714 106.682146367 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2142857143 20.7667163134 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.78571428571 7.06120827912 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.01903807615 379% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240884412649 0.244688304435 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0913660288342 0.084324248473 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778895604353 0.0667982634062 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150038683256 0.151304729494 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0666816464705 0.056905535591 117% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.58950901804 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

The essay is not off topic, and it has good reasons. but not exactly right on the point, look, the topic asked: '...relevant examples from your experience'.

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better to try IELTS task II in 4 paragraphs with two sides, try this pattern:

paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.

paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...

paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. first,... Second, ...

paragraph 4: conclusion.

1.It means we can write this essay with both view point like partially agree.
2.If in question example is asked by the examiner then how much it is important to include that in your answer?
3.The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long. what it mean?
4.The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.what it mean?
5.My marks are also deducted by exceeding word limit in above essay?

.It means we can write this essay with both view point like partially agree.
2.If in question example is asked by the examiner then how much it is important to include that in your answer?
3.The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long. what it mean?
4.The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.what it mean?
5.My marks are also deducted by exceeding word limit in above essay?