Some people say that international sports events make an important contribution to world peace.Do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Some people say that international sports events make an important contribution to world peace.

Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that intercontinental sports activities play a vital role which contributes to the peaceful world. From my point of view, I agree completely with the mentioned idea and in the following essay, I will give reasons to demonstrate this opinion.  

On the one hand, there are various sports events on a global scale such as football matches, the Olympic Games hosting on a frequent basis. Firstly, these not only help hosters to receive a huge amount of money through selling tickets, providing services, especially accommodation, transportation, and dining but also are fabulous chances to promote their culture and history. This stems from thousands of supporters who accompany their teams or clubs, have a tendency to combine their trips with recreations and sightseeing, which means these people would integrate into the local residents and widen their circle of friends, resulting in stable and essential backgrounds to build solidarity between nations. Secondly, relying on the national budget obtains the taxes system through sports events and attached services, the local government could allocate for education and health care fields and in turn, improve the life quality of citizens, is one of the most crucial elements brings a prosperous society that makes a contribution to the world peace.  

On the other hand, such sports events are where well-known players, to be their countries' representatives vie with rivals for the championship for their homeland and they are also messengers assist to deliver peacefully messages to the whole world. Since just their attitudes and Fairplay with their competitors are typical instances to illustrate their nation's friendship and hospitality which tighten union and narrow distance between them and their rivals despite the language and social-cultural barriers.     

In conclusion, base on described origins, I believe that intercontinental sports events are a key contributing factor behind the peaceful globe.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 764, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'taxes'' or 'tax's', 'taxis's'?
Suggestion: taxes'; tax's; taxis's
...ying on the national budget obtains the taxes system through sports events and attach...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1722.0 1615.20841683 107% => OK
No of words: 303.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.68316831683 5.12529762239 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.27739223661 2.80592935109 117% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.643564356436 0.561755894193 115% => OK
syllable_count: 503.1 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 16.0721442886 37% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 50.0 20.2975951904 246% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 154.920409673 49.4020404114 314% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 287.0 106.682146367 269% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 50.5 20.7667163134 243% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.6666666667 7.06120827912 236% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131221592077 0.244688304435 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0678923717523 0.084324248473 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0529354948641 0.0667982634062 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0895761605885 0.151304729494 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0301638002715 0.056905535591 53% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.6 13.0946893788 234% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 12.27 50.2224549098 24% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.44779559118 175% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 24.0 11.3001002004 212% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.55 12.4159519038 133% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.43 8.58950901804 133% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 78.4519038076 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 9.78957915832 194% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.0 10.1190380762 217% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.