Do you agree or did agree with following statement successful job needs good relations with people more than studying hard?
The job has a tremendous impact on our lives and well- being. It enhances our success in endless ways because it encompasses our core. Therefore, I adamantly agree that the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
First of all, being socially active person has a crucial effect on your success in a job. Indeed, working hard in the school not promising a good future for a job because you still need a good relationship with other people to ensure prosperity in your job. For example, when I was working in the pharmacy before a few years, I have two peers one of them was the manager of the pharmacy, and the other one was an employee who was the most famous diligent person in school. Our manager has excellent communication skills and relationships with other; he knows how to deal with the other companies, how to give a valuable advice, and how actively involved in the work environment. On the other hands, the employee who was hardworking in school he was mere worked all the time and tried to finish his related duties. I realized that our pharmacy became more famous and begun to succeed and productive because of the intellectual personality and social rapports of our manager. As you can see, immersing in the relationship with the people is the foundation of flourishing in your job.
Second, engaging in an environment surrounding with different people broaden your horizon. The matter of fact, through cooperate and collaborate with peers from different backgrounds improves your work. For instance, spending ample time with other people with other skills and different field boosts your abilities in working, and help to open new scope of your working, when you have excellent skills such as talking, persuading, and dealing with the customers, these abilities make help you to flourish your position and boost your career. Hence, having a profound bond with other people had positive influences on your prosperity.
For the reasons mentioned above, from my perspective, it is highly beneficial to have a close relationship with people in your job. Not only to thrive your function, but also to earn more chances in work. Hopefully, all people follow that trend and use it to improve the populace.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
being socially active person has a crucial effect on your success
being a socially active person has a crucial effect on your success
when I was working in the pharmacy before a few years
when I was working in the pharmacy a few years ago
and the other one was an employee who was the most
and the another one was an employee who was the most
----------------------
flaws:
The content in the third paragraph is not exactly right on the topic.
-----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1828 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.621 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.561 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, second, so, still, therefore, well, for example, for instance, such as, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1882.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93963254593 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69917104846 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514435695538 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.9481279866 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.705882353 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4117647059 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.76470588235 5.45110844103 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285529256432 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0980383765122 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0831462584779 0.0737576698707 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171091792004 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0285294604248 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.