Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would he more satisfying.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would he more satisfying.

Nowadays the surge of unemployment and the number of job seekers in our society due to economic problems such as sanction, the goals of majority of people is finding a suitable and desirable job. Accordingly, having a practical career is an important hotspot in every individual's life. A conversional question which is often regarding this idea is whether people apply for secure job or wait for a satisfied job. From my own vantage point, I am firmly disagreed with the assertion that people should take a secure job when they have this chance and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs.

To commence, the first subtle point requires to be mentioned is that people look for the job which is more favorable and contributed with their skills and interests. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact, people spend more than 60 percent of their time on work. Therefore, if they do not love their job and enjoy it, they would feel depressed or disheartened. Most of time, they contemplate wasting their time due to unsatisfied job. For example, one of my colleagues always has a challenge with his job and spends his time and energy for finding another job. Either he becomes hopeless, or he restricts his abilities. Moreover, he is not seduced by its high remunerate. People always prefer to acquire a satisfied job.

Another compelling reason comes into consideration is that people would promote in their job which is pleasure for them. A noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics, revealed by a recently conducted social research, demonstrates that more than 60 percent of pleasure jobs account for their owners' promotions. To illustrate this concept, when someone chooses a suitable job, he would make tremendous efforts in order to boost his position and income. For instance, my uncle is a successful businessman due to his favorite job. He always has innovative ideas and is eager to show his abilities to his boss and coworkers. Thus, he always exhorts youth to pursue their interests especially in their future jobs.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned argument, lead us to the fact that satisfied or favorable jobs have some positive influences on people's life. I firmly recommend that job applicants notice their interests till they enjoy their work and time, and they can progress easily.

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Nowadays the surge of unemployment and the number of job seekers in our society due to economic problems such as sanction, the goals of majority of people is finding a suitable and desirable job.
Description: can you re-write this sentence? a lot of errors.

all aforementioned argument, lead us to the fact that
all aforementioned arguments lead us to the fact that

Sentence: A conversional question which is often regarding this idea is whether people apply for secure job or wait for a satisfied job.
Error: conversional Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Be sensitive writing the first sentence correctly, if not, it will lose great credits. or simply you can remove the first sentence and start from 'Accordingly, having a practical career is an important hotspot ...'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1909 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.766 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.605 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5