Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Though many people believe that the one and only reason for success in any job is an extensive education and knowledge there are people who think there are also other factors contributing to success in the profession. I strongly believe in the power of relating to people and its consequences on an individual's job future. and I will explain my reasons in the following essay.
The most important reason that I want to bring about is that except working as a freelance in almost every kind of job you have to have some sort of relationship with people around you. Whether it is a customer-merchant type of a relationship or it is just a simple relationship between you and your colleagues. In any case, if you lack the abilities to connect with people and to understand them you will not be able to build to your job. A merchant who is unaware of his customers will eventually face a decrease in the number of costumes. I remember a time when I just joint a big company and I had to do a project for the first time. We had this colleague who did not cooperate as she did not understand what we really want from her. Finally, the manager had to ask her to be more considerate and active and this did not end well because she quit that month.
Second, I think that building strong relations with people in your profession and understanding their needs may also help you expand your business. As times goes by you could collect an astonishing information about what is lacking in the market you are working in, Thus you can come up with new ideas and present these ideas to your boss. This could brings you a promotion even if you are confident enough about the success of your idea you could pursue it yourself. Actually the same thing happened to a friend of mine, who was really aware of the needs in the IT community so when he saw that a lot of people need a gadget to trace their dogs, he immediately quit and started his own business of dog-tracing gadgets. Now he is a respected person in my country for the innovation he brought.
Long story short, I think being able to relate to people is a key factor in your future success. This makes you aware of what people want and also could lead you to a greater success.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 147, Rule ID: ALSO_OTHER[1]
Message: Use simply 'there are other' or 'there are also'
Suggestion: there are other; there are also
...nd knowledge there are people who think there are also other factors contributing to success in the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 324, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...sequences on an individuals job future. and I will explain my reasons in the follow...
^^^
Line 2, column 220, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'type of'.
Suggestion: type of
... you. Whether it is a customer-merchant type of a relationship or it is just a simple rel...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 351, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'bring'
Suggestion: bring
...nt these ideas to your boss. This could brings you a promotion even if you are confide...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 476, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a you could pursue it yourself. Actually the same thing happened to a friend of m...
^^
Line 3, column 560, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: the; IT
...e, who was really aware of the needs in the IT community so when he saw that a lot of ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, if, may, really, second, so, thus, well, as to, i think, kind of, sort of, in any case
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1814.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 410.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.4243902439 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59979407046 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514634146341 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.7552130333 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.705882353 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1176470588 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.23529411765 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26732084049 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0868836626021 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0563774266633 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170174835583 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0160080938527 0.0645574589148 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.