Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Hi, Please check my essa

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

Hi, Please check my essay, many thanks

Although many people believe that the overabundance of useless information through the internet can cause people to waste time, I do strongly disagree with this idea. In my opinion; people benefit from internet access and technology enormously because they can deepen their knowledge, become open minded, and communicate with each other more effectively.

Doubtless, data and information are the most vital stuff for every student especially if he is studying at the university. Without internet access students won’t be able to solve most of their problems. An example from my own life may shed some light on this issue, I remember when I was undergraduate I had many problems learning computer programming. At that time I did not used to search for issues on a specific website. Surprisingly, by studying this course using some useful resources and information through the internet I learnt that course well. So it is obvious how internet may help students in different levels to raise their knowledge.

One should always remember that in order to have a prosperous society; every individual has to do his best. Without access to the internet; people would not be able to read about the latest topics. This creates problem for a society as whole; they would become narrow-minded in a way that would avoid new ideas and could not adapt themselves to the new kinds of information and technologies. This is absolutely an obstacle for a society wishes to become progressive.

Another side of the coin however is communications. People need to socialize with each other, and nowadays most of these socializing are being done through the internet actually through various communicating applications. Just imagine you do not have access to the internet for even a day; it seems very difficult not to beware of your friends, and families. If you are a student studying abroad this is the most valuable thing that internet technology provides for you which is very necessary.

To put it in nut shell, internet websites are not always a source which provides useless information. Think about different situations each individual may make use of it properly. A university student having difficulties finding solutions to different problems, a student living abroad may use it to meet his family every day, an uncanny experience which was not practical in the past, and everyone in the society benefits it by hearing about latest news, also up to date technologies. So does not seem that living without internet access makes us lots of troubles and disturb our life?

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Average: 9 (2 votes)
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A university student having difficulties finding solutions to different problems, a student living abroad may use it to meet his family every day, an uncanny experience which was not practical in the past, and everyone in the society benefits it by hearing about latest news, also up to date technologies.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Don't put phrases and sentences parallel.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 421 350
No. of Characters: 2097 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.53 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.981 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.762 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.969 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Thank you so much,

A university student having difficulties finding solutions to different problems benefits from the information provided by the internet.A student living abroad may use it to meet his family every day, an uncanny experience which was not practical in the past. Almost everyone in the society benefits it by hearing about latest news, also up to date technologies.

would you please tell me about the grammatical mistake? and what aspects you suggest me to improve in order to score high?
Best.