Do you agree or disagree with this statement that it is better for people to keep their own experiences such as photo and other information to social-network sites?
In the contemporary world, we have been surrounded by a lot of new technologies such as new small cameras, cell phones, the internet and so on that we can use them to capture and save our memories. Nowadays, so momentous is for people to have a record of their moments and they have several way to achieve this goal. The controversial question which arises here is whether using scoila-networking sites is a better way for people to keep their information or not. As far as I am concerned, I believe that using others ways can more beneficial. I elaborate on my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, there is others ways thereby people could keep their experiences as records and using scial medias is not the best option to keep their information privet. One better way to do this is printing our pictures on papers and keep them physically, and also, write their good memories in a diary. Doing this is better decsition, they can use it insted of uploading information and being uder the risk of hackers' attackts. Moreover, saving information on computers or cell-phones is realy simple and there is no need to access the internet because sometimes data are really huge and the speed of the internet is slow.Hence, uploading data can be a frequetly problem. Take my sister's experince as an example. She alway uploded her pictures on one the facebook, one time that the internet connection was disrupted she used a public internet wifi to upload her new pictures and after one hour realized that her accound had been hacked and the hacker had removed all of my sister's picture that captured during 6 years.
Second, not only is uploading poepls' information to social-networking sites risky, but also it makes people to be addected on using these kinds of websites. Getting likes and positive comments from others.Therefor, people tempt to try uploading their new informations and draw others' attention to leave good comments below thier new posts. Beside, spending much time on these website, people have less attention to their families and just to them in indisputable situations. Consequently,using these websites results in seperating idividuals and destroying theri relationship. According to a sudy conduced by the University of Tehran, younger people are not able enough to behave corectly in the society just because of much using of social medias.
In conclution, I believe that using social-networks is not a perfect approach to save our memories because most times it is not safe and also people unconsiocly use it a lot that has a great impact on their scosial behaviours. In a word, I disagree with the mentioned statement.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 284, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun way seems to be countable; consider using: 'several ways'.
Suggestion: several ways
...a record of their moments and they have several way to achieve this goal. The controversial...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 16, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[3]
Message: Did you mean 'there are others'?
Suggestion: there are others
...following paragraphs. To begin with, there is others ways thereby people could keep their ex...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 626, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...e and the speed of the internet is slow.Hence, uploading data can be a frequetly prob...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 721, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...my sisters experince as an example. She alway uploded her pictures on one the facebook, one t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 206, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefor
...likes and positive comments from others.Therefor, people tempt to try uploading their ne...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 371, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this website' or 'these websites'?
Suggestion: this website; these websites
...ew posts. Beside, spending much time on these website, people have less attention to their fa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , using
...in indisputable situations. Consequently,using these websites results in seperating id...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, hence, if, moreover, really, second, so, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2219.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98651685393 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97446100248 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530337078652 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 703.8 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.0690462819 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.277777778 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7222222222 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.284201057673 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898440056503 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0826399689554 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165551825069 0.150856017488 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0111776588242 0.0645574589148 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.