Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones, while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better? And why?

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Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones, while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better? And why?

Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of whether children should own their smart phones. Some people believe that smart phone would have negative impacts on children, while some argue that children had better have smart phone because parents want to always keep in touch with their children in case of they could have danger. I, personally, tend to subscribe to the former one. My reasons for this claim are manifold, three conspicuous ones of which are elaborated upon hereunder.

First and foremost, parents care about children’s academic achievement, but allowing children to have their smart phone will bring about adverse effect on children’s academic performance. For example, when I was a high school student, my mom bought a smart phone for me because she believed that smart phone can help me improve study efficiency by searching useful data and having group discussion with friends on-line with smart phone immediately and conveniently. However, after owning a cool smart phone, I downloaded lots of game apps and facebook, and spent a lot of time playing funny video games and chatting with my friends but not discuss the homework with them actually. As a result, I failed the entrance exam because I did not be well-prepare for the exam. Therefore, I think that it is better for children’s academic achievement to keep smart phones away from children.

For another reason, parents put emphasis on children’s health and preventing children from high-tech smart phone can keep children healthy. Take me as an example, I used to operate my smart phone very often when I was young. Unfortunately, I got near-sighted and because of sitting on the chair for a long time, I also had bad build. Moreover, I suffered from mental problems due to spending little time getting along with my family and friends. Apparently, owning smart phone would cause abnormal behavior and eventually influence children’s health condition.

Of course, admittedly, it may be true that smart phones are important tools for children to contact their parents when taking children’s security into account. For instance, if children got lost in a strange place or being kidnapped by bad guys, children can call the police and parents for help. Nevertheless, this worry can be eliminated by educating children to protect themselves and being independent. Moreover, bringing smart phones with them cannot ensure they will not encounter any urgent situation.

To sum up, given the reasons described above, when the advantage and disadvantage of whether parents should forbid their children from smart phones are carefully compared, the most striking view is obvious. That is, due to academic achievement and heath of children, I prone to suggest that children have to be avoided having smart phones.

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Average: 8 (2 votes)
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children had better have smart phone
children had better to have smart phones

because I did not be well-prepare for the exam
because I was not well-prepared for the exam

Sentence: Some people believe that smart phone would have negative impacts on children, while some argue that children had better have smart phone because parents want to always keep in touch with their children in case of they could have danger.

Description: The token of is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to of and they

Sentence: That is, due to academic achievement and heath of children, I prone to suggest that children have to be avoided having smart phones.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to I and prone

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2287 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.06 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.372 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5