Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
One of the most serious concerns of parents is how to raise their children appropriately. Besides, nowadays, parents are very busy since they both need to work out of the home to manage financial burden of the family. Therefore, when it comes to the question whether parents should spend their time to have fun and play with their children or help them to do their homework when they do not have not enough time to spend with them, parents adopt different attitudes toward this question depending on their characters and educational backgrounds. On the one hand, there are parents who adhere to the belief that aiding children to do their schoolworks is the best use of time; on the other hand, others believe that playing games and sports with children has outstanding merits. As far as I am personally concerned, the latter carries further weight since not only does it assist parents to cement their relationship with their children but also does it help children to become mature physically and mentally.
Parents can raise children more appropriately, if they become friend with their children. In fact, parents, who cannot control their children and they are unable to teach them important lessons of life, are like a strange person to their children. One way to become close to children is to play with them sicne when children figure out that their parents are playing with them, they think that there is no gap between them. I remember when I was child my father always played football with me even if he was very tired when he came back to home, as a result of which I had a close relationship when I grew up. Furthermore, having a close relationship will help parents to take control on their children and their behaviours. Subsequently, if parent wants to raise their children more effectively, they should spend their little time playing with them.
Playing also has a profound influence on the children's development. Psychologist believe that playing will help children to become mature physically and mentally sooner. In fact, children will get involved in complicated activities through playing games. For instance, when a child is playing football with his mother or father, he needs to utilize his hands, feet and his body in order to grab the ball or shot it. Such activities may seem very simple but they will have noticeable effect on children's development. Furthermore, children also need to use their mental ability so as to finish a game leading to improvement of their intellectual abilities. Consequently, parents will help their children become mature sooner, provided they paly games and sports with their children.
All in all, the best use of time when parents are very busy is playing games and sports with children since not only does it assist parents to have more control on their children but also does it aid children to grew up physically and mentally. So if I had child, I definitely spend my time to play with him the game which he really like it.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 247, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...the family. Therefore, when it comes to the question whether parents should spend their time to have...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 577, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...n also need to use their mental ability so as to finish a game leading to improvement of...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 669, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ir intellectual abilities. Consequently, parents will help their children become ...
^^
Line 5, column 745, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'game'
Suggestion: game
...ecome mature sooner, provided they paly games and sports with their children. All...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, furthermore, if, may, really, so, therefore, as to, for instance, in fact, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2487.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 509.0 407.700716846 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88605108055 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60812290175 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426326129666 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 743.4 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.1113469374 48.9658058833 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.35 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.45 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.95 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388774356593 0.236089414692 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135585360857 0.076458572812 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100212377497 0.0737576698707 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.288160219398 0.150856017488 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0985916079164 0.0645574589148 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.