Some people feel that certain worker like nurse, doctor and teacher are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sum of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Have you ever thought that your salary in comparison of other jobs or your coworker is unfairly? Maybe your activity or your tasks importance is more significant than theirs. Difference between incomes of worker are variable based on worker`s knowledge, working hours, their experience and ability and above all their jobs. For example doctor, nurse, teacher and movie actor have different salary; between these jobs maybe actors get the highest salary then others.
In my view workers like nurse, teacher and doctor have essential work and vital roles in our society. For example teachers train and teach society`s future characters. Those they will be integral part of the society. Or doctors and nurses cure and take care of patients, that without them incurable disease surround the world and we will live in insanitary condition. These statements emphasized their role`s importance and their job`s difficulty. When they don’t get money and value that they meritorious, it cause they lose their motive for doing their job as good as they can. This situation can affect the society in unfavorable way.
In the other hand some vocation like movie actors or bosses earn huge sum of money that it seems it’s out of their function proportion. For example a movie actor just for one film get huge sum of money that maybe seems not to be candid. But their revenue isn’t permanent like teacher`s and they work just for a period and maybe they don’t have any program and source of income for long time. Especially old actors have this problem, after years they lose their spell and ability to get good role in the movies. So they should have good save for their retired period. For the company bosses, they earn money based on their market and product. And moreover they prepare lots of working condition for labors. So based on their activities and production they earn the money.
In conclusion, I can say each job have its difficulties and impression for our society that they are substantial and can’t compare with each other. Because there are irrelevant and it seems foolish to compare them. Moreover we can’t ignore the value and difficulty of each job. So it’s better to respect them and their operation.
between these jobs maybe actors get the highest salary then others.
among these jobs maybe actors get the highest salary than others.
Those they will be integral part of the society
Those will be integral part of the society
without them incurable disease surround the world
without them incurable diseases will be surround the world
Sentence: Maybe your activity or your tasks importance is more significant than theirs.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to tasks and importance
Sentence: Difference between incomes of worker are variable based on workers knowledge, working hours, their experience and ability and above all their jobs.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to workers and knowledge
Sentence: These statements emphasized their roles importance and their jobs difficulty.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to roles and importance
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to jobs and difficulty
Sentence: When they don't get money and value that they meritorious, it cause they lose their motive for doing their job as good as they can.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and meritorious
Description: The fragment it cause they is rare
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1792 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.766 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.268 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.348 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.812 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.259 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.448 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5