Students of a university have a long break between university semesters; the university requires all students to do one of the following for one month during the break:
1-students must take a course on the subjects that has no direct connection to their majors of study ( for example, a student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts or social science)
2- Students must volunteer to work in the university’s city or their hometowns to improve some aspects of life of the city or their own town( for example, student may help local primary school children with their homework
Which one do you think in more beneficial for students in their university? Why?
Opinions are divided on what to do during one month break; whether to take course which has no direct connection to their majors of study, or to work as a volunteer. Personally speaking, it is my firm conviction that working as volunteer would be much more beneficial while a substantial number of students will take issue with this view. I will elaborate upon momentous reasons in the following paragraphs.
First, should students work as a volunteer to improve some aspects of life, they would gather some experiences. It is a common knowledge that the more work we do, the more knowledge we acquire. Even though students would not make money by working as volunteer, but they would be addicted to working as a team. Besides, it would be useful to master new skill. To pave the way for this example, I would like to give an example of my own experiences. Several years ago, during summer break, I joined an organization aimed to help poor children by helping them with their school courses. During this time I gather lots of experience. As an instance, I learned that whenever I work in a group, the majority’s opinion should take priority over my own need and belief. In a word, having worked as a volunteer, I learned an important lesson which was helpful for my future job.
Second, students can take a break between difficult courses which they take in the university if they work as a volunteer. I honestly think helping to improve society is so exciting experiences for students who have to just attend classes, study, and take exams during their education. In contrast, I take the view that taking course during break is a daunting task even if it would be a new course. To exemplify, as I mentioned before, I worked as a volunteer to help my society several years ago, apart from experiences which I acquired, I really could start the new semester after the break much more energetic, inasmuch as working as a volunteer was a delightful experiences. Whenever I saw I helped, my enthusiastic for doing my best increased. Hence, working as a volunteer would increase students’ energy.
In the final analysis, according to above-mentioned points and examples, I subscribe to the opinion that I were forced to choose one of the above choices to fill my break, I should definitely choose working as a volunteer since it would increase my experiences and also my energy.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 118, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'common knowledge'.
Suggestion: common knowledge
...ey would gather some experiences. It is a common knowledge that the more work we do, the more know...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 667, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'experience'?
Suggestion: experience
...working as a volunteer was a delightful experiences. Whenever I saw I helped, my enthusiast...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 200, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to work'.
Suggestion: to work
...ll my break, I should definitely choose working as a volunteer since it would increase ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, honestly, if, really, second, so, thus, while, apart from, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 411.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81508515815 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85617618095 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496350364964 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 628.2 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5993404939 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.157894737 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6315789474 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47368421053 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233652194708 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0769207198772 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.07817873424 0.0737576698707 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155182508691 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.086081459565 0.0645574589148 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.