TOEFL Independent Writing Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.
In some cultures children leave their parents’ home once they reach 18 years age, in others children live with their parents their entire life. A preference for one or another option depends on different factors, such as culture itself, economy, the ability of children and parents to earn money etc. Not taking into account the exceptional situations, when children have to live with their parents, I think, it is better for young adults to be independent from their parents. I have this opinion for several reasons.
First, as soon as a young person starts living independently from his or her parents, this person becomes a grown up adult, who can control his or her life. The young people who move out from their parents’ house, start facing the real life problems and they have to learn how to overcome those problems. Once they learn how to control their own life, they are considered drown up adults and they can have their own family, because they already learned how to take care of themselves and now they can take care of other people. My brother is a good example. When he was living with our parents, he did not know how to cook, how to wash his cloths, he did not care about food in the fridge, and he did not worry about the bills. He did not do all of this because he knew that mom and dad would take care of the routine. Once he moved out he realized that he needs to buy food and cook, otherwise he would remain hungry, he realized that he needs to spend part of his salary on the bills, he learned how to clean his place. In four months after moving out from parents’ house, my brother grew up and changed a lot, he became a man, who can take care not only of himself but also of other family members. This example shows how a boy became a mature man after he started an independent life.
Second, leaving with parents makes impossible to have your own family, because there is no enough space to live for so many people. For example, my friend Tom, who is 32 years old, had been leaving with his parents for many years when he met his girlfriend Anna. In a year after they met, they started thinking about marriage, but Tom did not have money to buy his own place, so he suggested to live with his parents. They started living all together and their life became insane, because nobody could have his or her private place, the old and the new family had a lot of arguments. Finally Tom and Anna decided to rent their own place and move out. This decision saved their relationship and relationship with Tom's family. This example shows that young adults should live apart from their parents.
To sum up, as earlier young people become independent, as sooner they will adapt to real life and become mature people. People, who live with their families their entire life, remain kids got a longer period.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 383, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggested living'.
Suggestion: suggested living
... have money to buy his own place, so he suggested to live with his parents. They started living a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 585, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
... the new family had a lot of arguments. Finally Tom and Anna decided to rent their own ...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'second', 'so', 'apart from', 'for example', 'i think', 'such as', 'to sum up']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.213058419244 0.229887763892 93% => OK
Verbs: 0.171821305842 0.158761421928 108% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0618556701031 0.0866891130778 71% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0463917525773 0.046263068375 100% => OK
Pronouns: 0.113402061856 0.0685040099705 166% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.0996563573883 0.118717715034 84% => OK
Participles: 0.020618556701 0.0351676179071 59% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.24322103374 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Infinitives: 0.03264604811 0.0309702414327 105% => OK
Particles: 0.00687285223368 0.00188951952338 364% => OK
Determiners: 0.0584192439863 0.0887237588012 66% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0154639175258 0.0209618222197 74% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0257731958763 0.0139019557991 185% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2841.0 2387.08602151 119% => OK
No of words: 514.0 408.028673835 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.52723735409 5.86048508987 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.48200974243 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.284046692607 0.338922669872 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.190661478599 0.251872472559 76% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.0933852140078 0.174417080927 54% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0428015564202 0.112833075102 38% => More words length more than 8 chars wanted.
Word Length SD: 2.24322103374 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459143968872 0.524397521467 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 53.1188078307 59.2087087015 90% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6684587814 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.3636363636 20.5533526081 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.3463567072 48.84282405 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.136363636 120.699889404 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3636363636 20.5533526081 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.545454545455 0.644075263715 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 42.4297842236 45.7405998639 93% => OK
Elegance: 1.00518134715 1.45489161554 69% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157176574812 0.300154397459 52% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.126430115486 0.103427244359 122% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0943443001129 0.0752933317313 125% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.445572157986 0.497263757937 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.157115126487 0.151897553556 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638068927462 0.114077575197 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0666226874336 0.0781384742642 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.287164829405 0.336927656856 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0994908107612 0.067059652881 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135067839716 0.210909579961 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0533874175574 0.0618886996521 86% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8870967742 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.86379928315 129% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 8.42114695341 95% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 2.4623655914 203% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 13.6433691756 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.