TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

In ancient Greek, a working day only demanded half of the day and the rest of it should be spent on enjoyment and relaxed time to achieve a healthy life. On the contrary, it is seem that modern times go to the opposite direction. Far away from having more time of enjoyment, we are forced to work longer hours and be able to pay our bills or reach the social status desired. Saying that, I disagree with the statement above proposed. In my own experience, working hard and spending less time for personal enjoyment is the normal thing to do to support my family and reach a decent level of living.

Fist of all, the reality of our actual society demands extraordinary expenses for a middle class family group. The provider of a family finds himself or herself doing extra hours work to be able to pay all of his/her bills. Furthermore, when the working day in an office is done at the end of the day, a lot of women have to take care of the family at home, cleaning, cooking, and laundry, so very few free time can result from that agenda. In addition, I can illustrate this idea with my own experience as a single mother. I work all the weekdays with long hours, and during the weekends, I have to do all the chores a house demands. Thus, I have very few time to relax and spend time with my children as I would like.

Secondly, not only adult's life demand so many hours of working, but younger people also have to face a challenge about their own free time. The pressure younger people have looking to get a better job, push them to persue a college and a university career. Correspondingly, young people have a great demand of hours of classes, study, and traning.

Finally, I have to remark that we live in a consumed society and enjoyment activities are also part of the market. As a result, they can be expenses too. For instance, running can be a free activity if you like to do it in a public park, but to do it properly, you have to have to buy running shoes to avoid hurt yourself. The cost of running shoes are increasing because of the demand and so on. To put it another way, free time can be very expensive, too.

In summary, I have to say that modern life is more complex and demanded than used to be. Sacrificing relaxing time for working or studying hours seems to be the new reality. In consequese I disagree with the statement above proposed.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 178, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'seemed'.
Suggestion: seemed
... a healthy life. On the contrary, it is seem that modern times go to the opposite di...
^^^^
Line 3, column 654, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: 'few times'.
Suggestion: few times
...ores a house demands. Thus, I have very few time to relax and spend time with my childre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'adults'' or 'adult's'?
Suggestion: adults'; adult's
... as I would like. Secondly, not only adults life demand so many hours of working, b...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, look, second, secondly, so, thus, in addition, in summary, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1562.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 350.0 407.700716846 86% => OK
Chars per words: 4.46285714286 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4574750606 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545714285714 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.1988138715 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.8823529412 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5882352941 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154268778277 0.236089414692 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0523795240199 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486123909802 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0915557801999 0.150856017488 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04666901879 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.