TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Most parents want their children behave good in school and do well in exams, some of them reward their children money when children gain high grade in the tests, and I personally agree that this is a good idea.

First, when children being rewarded because of their good performance, they will have more motivation to work hard in school, hence they may constantly keep a high grade in tests. For example, when I was a child, I spent too much time playing outside with my friends instead of studying, as a result, my test grades were usually not good. And one day my dad told me if I can do well in the final test, he will give me enough money for buying toys that I want. Of course I was inspired by my father's promise and then I worked very hard and finally I achieved my goal. This experience makes me realised that one have to strive for a goal with persistence and it really feels great when I finally makes my dream come true.

Moreover, when it comes to money, it is really good to let young children have some experiences about dealing with money, when they grow up, they can draw on past time experiences and spend their money more wisely. Generally, when children receive money, some may use it to buy products they want, others may save money by theirselves, which means they need to make decision about how to use money. As a result, they will have better understanding of handling money than those kids without experiences about using money. So that those experiences are important to children.

Finally, Giving children money when they behave themselves can makes children more happier. Nowadays, people suffer from a lot of pressure, as well as those young kids. For instance, Chinese students are supposed to do a substantial amount of homework when then finished all day's study at school. So if they can gain parent's award after they doing good at exams, they will gain a lot of happiness from those rewards, which is helpful for reducing their pressure in life.

In conclusion, rewarding children with money for their good performance in school will benefit children a lot, they will be more motivated to study hard, more familiar about how to manage money and their pressure will become less.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 695, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'make'
Suggestion: make
...nd it really feels great when I finally makes my dream come true. Moreover, when i...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 159, Rule ID: PAST_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pastime'?
Suggestion: pastime
...ey, when they grow up, they can draw on past time experiences and spend their money more ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 522, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... without experiences about using money. So that those experiences are important to chil...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 64, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'make'
Suggestion: make
...n money when they behave themselves can makes children more happier. Nowadays, people...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 79, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'happier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: happier
...ey behave themselves can makes children more happier. Nowadays, people suffer from a lot of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'first', 'hence', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'really', 'so', 'then', 'well', 'for example', 'for instance', 'in conclusion', 'of course', 'as a result', 'as well as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.207373271889 0.229887763892 90% => OK
Verbs: 0.172811059908 0.158761421928 109% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0668202764977 0.0866891130778 77% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0668202764977 0.046263068375 144% => OK
Pronouns: 0.101382488479 0.0685040099705 148% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.119815668203 0.118717715034 101% => OK
Participles: 0.0345622119816 0.0351676179071 98% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.38579860455 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0253456221198 0.0309702414327 82% => OK
Particles: 0.00230414746544 0.00188951952338 122% => OK
Determiners: 0.0506912442396 0.0887237588012 57% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0322580645161 0.0209618222197 154% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0299539170507 0.0139019557991 215% => Maybe 'Which' is overused. If other WH_determiners like 'Who, What, Whom, Whose...' are used too in sentences, then there are no issues.

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2222.0 2387.08602151 93% => OK
No of words: 391.0 408.028673835 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.68286445013 5.86048508987 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.48200974243 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.283887468031 0.338922669872 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.202046035806 0.251872472559 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.143222506394 0.174417080927 82% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0690537084399 0.112833075102 61% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38579860455 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514066496164 0.524397521467 98% => OK
Word variations: 56.471509508 59.2087087015 95% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6684587814 73% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0666666667 20.5533526081 127% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.5438971493 48.84282405 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.133333333 120.699889404 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0666666667 20.5533526081 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.06666666667 0.644075263715 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.54480286738 90% => OK
Readability: 46.2712702472 45.7405998639 101% => OK
Elegance: 1.06081081081 1.45489161554 73% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300808604628 0.300154397459 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.138875313727 0.103427244359 134% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.096053041405 0.0752933317313 128% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.561995576397 0.497263757937 113% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.21215889621 0.151897553556 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115254749947 0.114077575197 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0846019411496 0.0781384742642 108% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.257494818505 0.336927656856 76% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0238036473378 0.067059652881 35% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.209465728564 0.210909579961 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0652507454797 0.0618886996521 105% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.86379928315 26% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.91756272401 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 15.0 13.6433691756 110% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.