TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Money is acting as a driving force which gives motion to move ahead. Humans are running behind the money in the world. Children are also among the human so obviously they will also go for money. Man is greedy as well as children are also greedy. Some parent offer their children money for each high grade they get in school. According to my point of view, this is not good idea. Basically parents are bribing their children to accomplish good grades. Using money as a medium to motivate children is not the good idea.
Think about the age of school children, these offers put pressure on their minds so that they can fight for higher grades. There are many ways to motivate children to achieve higher grades but why parents are choosing this way? May be they do not have time to motivate or may be have too much money to use in this way. Talking about great personalities, make them to image future if they study well and inspiring them with great thoughts are the best ways to motivate children. Even offering useful gifts are good way rather than directly offer money. They can be habitual to cry for the money. What will happen if they find other way to earn more money rather than studying hard? Who knows that what will they do with the offered money? It can be spend in the useful purpose or in other purpose. Offering money is basically training children towards the bribe. Parent offer money to children shows that they do not have control on their children so they are using money to move their children.
Some parent think that money can act as a award for achieving higher grades but they do not think about the future consequences of this awards. There are lot of way to gift children if they achieve good grades. Even small thing brings happiness for the school age children. There is no need to offer money and attract children towards the money. Parents use money for the positive purpose but it can go in other way around.
It is a known fact that money is the precious thing in the universe which can drive anyone up to any extent. Parent should utilize money in a positive cause. Offering direct money can give negative effect on the minds of the children. Motivation and happiness comes from anything but that anything would be useful to the children.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 228, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: Maybe
... but why parents are choosing this way? May be they do not have time to motivate or ma...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'thinks'.
Suggestion: thinks
...ey to move their children. Some parent think that money can act as a award for achie...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 41, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...Some parent think that money can act as a award for achieving higher grades but t...
^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... think about the future consequences of this awards. There are lot of way to gift ch...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'well', 'talking about', 'as well as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.254545454545 0.229887763892 111% => OK
Verbs: 0.190909090909 0.158761421928 120% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0772727272727 0.0866891130778 89% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0522727272727 0.046263068375 113% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0522727272727 0.0685040099705 76% => OK
Prepositions: 0.113636363636 0.118717715034 96% => OK
Participles: 0.0363636363636 0.0351676179071 103% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.1298973212 2.67179642975 80% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0409090909091 0.0309702414327 132% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0772727272727 0.0887237588012 87% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0295454545455 0.0209618222197 141% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0136363636364 0.0139019557991 98% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2272.0 2387.08602151 95% => OK
No of words: 409.0 408.028673835 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.55501222494 5.86048508987 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.48200974243 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.283618581907 0.338922669872 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.185819070905 0.251872472559 74% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.124694376528 0.174417080927 71% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0440097799511 0.112833075102 39% => More words length more than 8 chars wanted.
Word Length SD: 2.1298973212 2.67179642975 80% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.435207823961 0.524397521467 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 46.4127876522 59.2087087015 78% => OK
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6684587814 135% => OK
Sentence length: 14.6071428571 20.5533526081 71% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.1308404847 48.84282405 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.1428571429 120.699889404 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.6071428571 20.5533526081 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.285714285714 0.644075263715 44% => More Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.54480286738 72% => OK
Readability: 33.1890499476 45.7405998639 73% => OK
Elegance: 1.36923076923 1.45489161554 94% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321538813972 0.300154397459 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0835909994954 0.103427244359 81% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0622455037771 0.0752933317313 83% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.42747603207 0.497263757937 86% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.104054661107 0.151897553556 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118951673771 0.114077575197 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0881735520869 0.0781384742642 113% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.484989282037 0.336927656856 144% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0707810689865 0.067059652881 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.237258232032 0.210909579961 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0702195085826 0.0618886996521 113% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8870967742 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.86379928315 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 13.6433691756 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.